Bloody Wanker.

Here's the banquet King Charles had recently to host the Orange Shitgibbon Trump. The room is half the size of a football field an the table seats something like over 100 people. I feel sorry for the poor guy who has to wash all those dishes! I saw a photo of the King laughing at Trump droning on and in with some stupid speech, most likely thinking, What a bloody wanker!" I also heard on the news last year alone over 300K people in Ontario left the ER without being seen( just like I did, remember?) tired of waiting as the wait times are just soooo bad, so it's NOT just I'm impatient; it's actually a real problem. I also heard Stairway To Heaven again last night and this morning is so cold 6 C I could see my breath and we even have a frost warning for tonight even going down to 0C and this morning my hubby hogged up all the hot water for his shower as well so I had barely any for my bath, even just running the hot it was barely lukewarm!

F*ck!

Last night the guys also had Dungeons & Dragons with their friend group, giving me the perfect opportunity to finally end it all(and I was actually planning on it,too) being home alone....except I was shocked to see the youngest was still here: I heard someone upstairs and it freaked me out because I thought everyone was gone and I thought to myself Oh, great! Am I going to have to kill someone? thinking it was an intruder, so he's lucky that I didn't attack him! I wonder what he was doing home though? In any case it ruined my plans but didn't cancel them, just merely delay them. I could still always do it any time but I'd prefer when I'm home alone not only so no one's here to stop me or to get help but also just in case something goes wrong(blow a fuse or something) I don't want anyone to be alerted or to get hurt.

I know I'll get thru it; I always have, but now I've reached the point where I don't even  want to "get thru" it anymore.

I'm tired of going thru it.

I'm done.

I just want it to finally end.

I just want it to be over.

Beja also seemed happy later yesterday, even wagging his tail, and his new sweater I ordered ( navy blue Cable knit) came as well and he looks so cute(I got a photo too but can't upload it onto the laptop so you'll have to wait until I get a new computer) but he  fought and struggled to get it on, wriggling and squawking, and my hubby saw the struggle and said, You're going to lose him! and I replied, I've already lost him (as the 30 YR old took over and stole him from me) and the 30 YR old said he"fixed" him by training him 6 hours straight and taking him for a long walk; apparantly he's an expert in "dog psychology" now( he thinks he's an expert in everything too just like my hubby does) and says he's afraid of certain sounds, textures, touches, etc. and said I should take him to the vet(even though he just got "spooked" by something and just needs time to get over it) except I can't afford it; 100$ for a test here, and 300$ for another test and 500$ for a test there, etc. it all adds up and I just don't have the $$$(and Buddy didn't go to the vet and lived to be 19) and they're always gouging people for unnecessary expenses and then he snapped, Are you going to spend it on yourself instead? and I told him, NO, I don't have it to spend on anything!! We're just barely getting by! If he's so concerned he can take him and spend his $$$,

The Police State gov't also banned an Irish band Kneecap from entering this shithole country(and yet they DO let in convicted felon ,rapist,and pedophile Trump!) for their political beliefs; for being pro-Palestinian(that is, anti-genocide) and supporting the IRA (who fought for Irish independence) saying they "support terrorism" ( an excuse they say whenever anyone doesn't hold their political narrative, such as  not supporting Israel's genocide in Gaza) and also passing an Anti-hate speech/symbol law as well which incl. displaying political flags the gov't doesn't like such as a Hezbollah flag, saying it's "terrorism", which is dangerous as ANY opposing political view or protest can be outlawed,  and have you ever started reading something online and stopped scrolling and just left knowing what comes next and it's just so sad you don't want to read the rest? eg: Halina was a Jewish woman living in Poland in 1939..... My son would have been 6 years old this year....My husband was working in NYC on September 11.....

I do it all the time.

From that day on he just gave up his will to live. No matter what we did he was always sad…you could feel the pain he was feeling .-Christine