Musing For The Day.

 

Thou Shall Not Kill.

‘Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart.’ —Jeremiah 1:5

Someone online bragged how him & his wife found out  testing showed their  21 week preborn baby had Down Syndrome so they killed it.

They said they "will start over and hope for a better outcome next time."

They found out it wasn't "perfect" so they killed it.

They were hoping  for "sympathy" and support except it backfired badly  and got angry backlash that they'd cruelly murder their own baby just because it was "imperfect."

I had a similar thing happen with the second-youngest: tests indicated she had a chromosomal and heart defect but I still refused to kill her regardless( I only got prenatal testing done to prepare me for any possible complications, not as an "alert" for "weeding out" "imperfections")....and as it turned out she was fine, making me wonder how many other people may have ended up killing perfectly healthy  babies due to wrong test results?

Yesterday I also had That Headache again(I have again today,too) when I woke up from my afternoon nap and was also dizzy and nauseated with it a and felt like a "heaviness" behind my eyes and I lost my pill container as well but it turned up in the bathroom.

I'm really 'losing" it lately and it's getting worse.

I also like this shirt and the wedding dress below, and I cleaned out my computer cache and had to re-log into my Facebook  and it had to prove I'm not a "bot" so it showed me a bunch of photos to click to verify and said click on all the ones that showed crosswalks but it was so small I couldn't really see and had trouble distinguishing which ones were actual crosswalks or just sidewalks or roads and kept getting it wrong so then it had me check which ones had buses but the same problem: the images were so small I couldn't tell between buses and vans so it took me multiple tries and many times but I finally got it.

I felt like such a dolt.

It's the same thing with the passport application re-newal form. The print is sooooo much smaller  than it used to be and I could hardly see it even with my glaases, which also happen to be 7-8 years old  but the provincial health plan doesn't pay for eye exams unless you're under 18 or over 65 and neither does my hubby's employee & family insurance plan and glasses cost 300$ or so and I can't afford it. I also think I am what you'd call "passively" suicidal. I don't actively plan  on killing myself any time soon( unless, of course Beja dies or I lose my house, then I already have a plan in place  all set to go) but I DO hope and pray every day that it's the day that I DO die. Maybe that's also why I keep getting all these delays in getting my passport re-newed? Maybe I AM dying soon and there's no use in wasting 200$ on something I won't be needing anymore?

Yesterday morning when I woke up I also smelled a strong smell of really burned toast except no one had cooked anything yet  and the 30 YR old was asking if anyone has any $$$ to spare as his rabbit is sick and had tests done at the vet and I didn't know people actually took pet rabbits to the vet; I mean, they charge soooo much for everything and if it dies you can just buy a new  rabbit for something like 20$ and my hubby scoffed I "don't emotionally bond" with my pets and I "have no empathy", "No wonder the kids don't like you", etc. but I DO with my dogs (and it's been over a year since Buddy died and I still miss him!) but NOT with rodents; I had lots of mice, gerbils, hamsters, and Guinea Pigs as pets as kids and they only live to be 1-2 anyway and then you just go to the pet store and get new ones. 

I don't even take my dogs to the vet anymore; they're scammers like dentists and always talk you into getting all these costly and unnecessary tests & procedures and their vaccines are poison and even their flea medications are dangerous and has side-effects like seizures and can even cause death. I just take care of things myself at home using natural remedies and Buddy lived to be 19.The bond isn't the same as it is with a dog. In any case it turned out it died in the end, anyway probably naturally of old age as I think he's had it for several years. Sure I was sad when my rodent pets died, of course, but nowhere near the degree of grief as with my dogs, but it's still just nowhere near the same as when your dog dies.

A dog can be your soulmate.

I know my suicide is inevitable.-Arusoi

 

Laugh For Today.

 

The Commando Chihuahua.

Beja is a Commando Chihuahua.

I don't mean "Going Commando" like a Scotsman wearing his kilt with no underwear.

I mean a commando commando, the soldier who is  stealth, sneaky and quiet and sneaks up on the enemy, like the Spetsnaz.

He lies in wait, watching and waiting in ambush for squirrels to show up so he can chase them!

He's a bugger!!

Yesterday my hubby also went out the side door to pour boiling hot water on the weeds growing in-between the cracks in the driveway and didn't close the door and Beja of course ran out after him but luckily I saw and sprinted out after him but of course I'm not nearly as fast as him to be able to catch up to him before he was out the door but luckily I caught him and grabbed him in the driveway before he could run off into the road but it's dangerous and terrifying and the fourth time or so he's done that and it just scares the shit out of me and I'm so afraid he's going to get run over by a car some day.

That's one of my biggest fears.

Another is that my mother's creditors(and they did send 2 more letters to her from the bank again about her loan yesterday,too) are going to come after me and sue me for her estate and I'll be forced to sell the house(I inherited from her) and move.

I also tried to get my passport application mailed off by reg'd mail.....but of course for me  everything always has to be a problem, go wrong and never work out.

They said at the post office that it's NOT a valid address(it figures )so I  had to use another envelope and just put the other address on it, the one they had for couriers instead of for mail....

but of course when I took it out of the old envelope to transfer into the new one the form ripped and tore off part of the info...

so now I have to re-do it again and re-fill out another new application(exactly why I got 2 of them) and start all over again.

WHY does everything always  have to be so hard for me all the time?

I swear, I have the worst "luck" ever and must be cursed.

Yesterday I also saw my first Monarch butterfly of the season and heard Stairway To Heaven  again and I felt soooo dizzy, sweaty, hot, restless & faint and like I was going to pass out and had to go inside and lay down in the shade, and this morning I saw a centipede in the sink, and my friend J in Ottawa (who used to work for the gov't but could never say exactly what and is now retired) also said his monthly Rogers TV service bills is 300$ (holy shit!!) which is exactly why we just download shit for free now and despite that it's still always f*cking up and going out, and the Ontario Legislature just got back to sitting at Queens Park a month ago and now they're already gone again for a 21 week (that's over 5 months!) summer  break and don't return again until October! They have more time off on vacation than they actually do any work!

Never Surrender - we cannot be denied Never Surrender - spread your wings and fly.-Triumph

 

Thoughts For Thursday.

There's someone in my head but it's not me.-Pink Floyd

Unlike your kids.

Buddy forever.

My hubby!

A dog should never be left alone under the open sky under any circumstances whatsoever. He should be pressed against his sweaty human on an air mattress throughout the night, maintaining close physical contact at all times. Ideally inside the sleeping bag.-Maham Waheed

I have Chihuahua glitter.

I know, this is actually a groundhog and not a gerbil but it's still funny...

Pride is a sin.

I know I’m doing to die, I just don’t have a date yet.-Adrian Webb

Will we ever meet again Feel no sorrow, feel no shame Come tomorrow, feel no pain.-Supertramp

Never Surrender - keep your dreams alive Never Surrender - hold your head up high.-Triumph