Wordless Wednesday.

 

Musing For The Day.

 

Earf Day.

Yesterday I saw my Angel Bird again....and as I was outside smoking mi a spliff I also saw something white come plopping down from the sky I thought some dirty bird flew by and shit on me....

but it was even worse:

it was snow!

Gaaaaacccckkkkk!!

The buds on the trees are also finally out but still not open yet and yesterday was Keep Off The Grass Day which I thought was kind of funny considering the day just before was 4/20 and today is "Earf" Day and they're asking people to volunteer picking up trash but I'll pass, and besides, I thought they had prisoners do that,anyway?

I also saw my belly-button pulsing, sort of like a heart beat and can also feel something moving in my stomach and abdomen as well and it felt like turning and rolling, and I was locked out of my Twitter account again as well only this time it seemed I was hacked instead of "offending" some pussy by something I posted like usual, and the other day my hubby went for a walk and Beja wanted to go too so I told him to  grab the leash and take him along but he refused because he "didn't want to pick up poop" as it was "gross." Can you believe it?

I will also never forget the day I was told that child # 7 had leukemia, when I saw my bedroom on fire, when Buddy's heart stopped and he died in my arms(and when he died I lost all light and colour in my life) and when we had to hurridly flee our enemy in the middle of the night, and when my mother was dying in the ICU and said she "had to go" and her "parents were waiting" for her and I just knew,  and when the almost 25 YR old said  when she was around 16 how she was "so happy they finally broke me" and it didn't just merely hurt my feelings  but it gutted & shattered me and it just took away what last bit of  will to live and love I had for my family left.

Maybe this time… we get forever. Warm days, quiet nights, and endless summers.-Eman

 

Daily Laff.

 

Yardie.

There's this new taco joint opening up in town tomorrow and i already know what I want to get: the El Cruncho  shown here; it looks like a delicious thing I had at Taco Bell  before. The new place is called Taco Time and is apparantly a franchise that is popular in the Prairies although I've never heard of it but I just loooove Mexican food so I'm all in. The word yardie  also means a Jamaican, an ex-pat Jamaican, or someone with strong ties to Jamaican culture(like me). Jamaica has always felt like my spiritual home and where I felt at home and belong so I guess that must make me a yardie then. I also heard Stairway To Heaven yesterday and today and the next couple of days are supposed to be nice 16C and sunny and outside days and  my hubby didn't care that yesterday was 420 but I didn't care when it was Pi Day,either, and he still mentioned it.

It was funny yesterday as well: the oven and Google timer went off and I forgot I had set it and said, "Who set a timer? It just went off" and then I smelled something delicious and remembered, "Oh! My pizza!" I'd forgotten I had a pizza in the oven....duuuh... and I've also been nauseated for the past few days as well and I saw a photo of my friend C( from the YMCA group in Ottawa) who is autistic like me and now in her 60's and all grey and lives in an assisted living place and she had her waistband of her pants all the way up to her chest and looked like a senile old crone and it just made me feel so sad. She was just 30 when I first met her.

I also read someone online said they hate The Scorpions  and I couldn't believe it! Who doesn't like them? Those guys really rock and have been rocking since before I was even born and are awesome, and I've always loved them, and in a few days child # 6 turns 30 and I've always felt this "creepy" vibe with that one, a sinister, eerie presence, like a dark spirit surrounding him that makes me uneasy and it's not even anything to do with the trans thing; it started way before that, with the Goth thing, always dressing in black & wearing chains, spikes, skulls, upside-down crosses, and ghoulish accessories like bats and coffin purses, etc. I also thought of doing a will at one point but when the lawyer said it would cost almost as much as I have in my bank account(and as much as a trip!) I decided against it and I also don't want to get into personal & embarrassing family details with the lawyer,either. Either way I'll be dead anyway so it won't be my problem anymore and my family treats me like shit so I'm not going to go out of my way (or expense) for them.

The urge to disappear from everyone’s life and abandon everything.-Vimpirerose

 

Tuesday Thoughts.

I'm a dirty bird!😂

Whenever I start crying, I cry for everything that has ever happened to me.-R

I’ve never in my life wished for someone to be dead. Except for him. Like, every damn day.-Heidi

It has been a full year since your heart stopped beating and I last felt your warmth and the comfort that just your presence brought me.-Maria Gulogiova

...and we all know who this is about.

Ours says "Go Away!"

Stay far away from people who belittle you jokingly. Even family.-DearSelf

Oh, God! I would just kill  him if he did that!!

It’s not easy to live in a world that is not built for you.-Charmaine Miedecke

If suicide isn't the answer what is?-Polyblank

Is that....Rihanna?

It occurs to you that you simply cannot fight one more day. It’s progressive, each victory is shorter and more brutal so just let it end.-Philip Klossner