Daily Thought.

 

Day By Day.

My back pain is soooooo bad it kept waking me up and is off the charts(abdomenal pain,too, but the back pain eclipses it) and really makes me wonder if it's my kidneys based on location and I still have the cramps & diarrhrea as well and I wonder if it's just my Diverticulitis acting-up again or something more and my chronic cough if it's just due to my Alpha-1 antitrypsin deficiency or something else. I can't tell for sure but whatever it is it's getting worse. We never did get any snow yesterday, despite the warning and so the school buses got cancelled for nothing even though Toronto got walloped by it and now they said we're getting snow tomorrow. I also heard Stairway To Heaven again yesterday and tomorrow would have been Buddy's 20th birthday so it would be "poetic" and poignant if that's the day I die,too. Yesterday I also found my missing lighter: as the snow melted on the back porch there it was and once it dried off it even still works! A neighbour behind us at the back also still not only has his Christmas lights on but his wreaths, garland and red ribbons on the outside of his house,too!

The youngest also needs a criminal background check to work and apparantly you need photo gov't ID for that and his passport expired so he had to go to Service Ontario where he got this other Ontario photo ID card that looks sort of like a driver's license he can use that I never even knew existed but the 31 YR old (who is also doing his Midterms now)also has and he can also hopefully use as ID to get his passport renewed,Adulting is hard. and I heard Netanyahu has cancer and normally I'd feel badly but in this case it couldn't happen to a more deserving guy and he also bemoaned he doesn't understand why everyone hates them(Israel) but my guess would be probably because of their war crimes and genocide in Gaza but that's just a guess, and Prince Andrew reportedly got arrested for his Epstein activities and ALL of them in the Royal family are involved, he's just the one that got caught.

I also love Beja so much I don't even get mad when he has "accidents" in the house; I just clean it up and get on with my day and last night I had a dream him, my hubby, my mother, and I went to Centre Island in Toronto and he got lost and I couldn't find him and they said we were leaving and I told them I wasn't leaving without him  and wasn't going to leave him there and we had to look for him first before we left and I did end up finding him; he had just run off to play with other dogs. My hubby also said "No one gets married anymore" and even though not as many as before there still are some  people who still do and it still matters to them despite society's decline there are still people who value morals, tradition, commitment, family values, and God's Word, and I can't give up weed or chocolate(just on Fridays) for Lent as the weed has eliminated my migraines and there's no way I'm ever going back to that  ever again and it also eases all my pain and giving it up would be like giving up my BP meds; it's medication, and as for chocolate I simply need it to survive, sort of like oxygen.😂My friend F in Ottawa gave up chocolate for the entire 40 days of Lent before but I could *NEVER*  do that!!

Depression is a strange experience. It’s not always sadness. Sometimes it looks like forgetting yourself. You wake up one day and realise the things that make you feel alive now feel like chores, and nothing seems interesting.-Big Ti

 

Wordless Wednesday.

 

Today's Pondering.

 

Adulting.

We've had lots of melting from the mild temps yesterday but the freezing rain has already begun today( check out the pretty ice coating our vines) and later turning to a big snow storm 10-20 cm worth. Seriously though, everyone's had enough of winter already!!  Mother Nature is a bitch.I also noticed one of the neighbour's behind us at the back when his icicles melted and fell off his roof they also  took off part of the roof, eavestrough, and door frame with  it. Shit! The youngest also noticed his passport expired 3 months ago( when they were younger and I took care of all that stuff that never would have happened; I keep track of that stuff and would have noticed before it expired and would have renewed it 6 months ahead) but he'll be having trouble renewing it as he only has his birth certificate as ID because he lost his SIN card(if he had given it to me like he was supposed to it would have been safe in the safe and never would have been lost!)  and his health card(which they don't accept) so now he's got some major "Adulting" to do.

Today is also Ash Wednesday and the start of Lent, which I didn't even realize( it seems like it was just Christmas!) until the radio DJ mentioned it yesterday; it just sort of "snuck" up on me, so now I had to quicky revise my menus as today is fasting as well as no meat (or desserts, chocolate, chips,candy, treats,etc)plus no meat every Friday until Easter and even though I left the Church years ago I still do fasting as it brings you closer to God and strengthens you spiritually regardless of your faith  and Ramadan also starts today as well so millions  of people will be fasting at the same time which is very powerful and a weapon against evil which we really  need right now more than ever.

Yesterday I also got a notice in the mail from the home insurance saying I still owe them and it's due 3 March even though my hubby said he already paid it, so it worries me maybe he didn't really and just said  that(and I really don't have the coverage I think I do and he just let it expire) or else they somehow didn't receive the payment but I don't want to be without coverage, and why can't things just ever go the way they're supposed to, and I also wonder if my cousin's daughter's upcoming baby girl could even possibly be my mother reincarnated back into her mother's side of the family and my cousin's daughter has Type 1 diabetes as well, ever since she was little and even had an insulin pump when she was a kid, so likely will end up with a really big baby,too. It also makes me wonder if my kidneys really are failing esp. with the fluid retention, lower back pain and high BP(kidneys regulate BP) despite being on meds for years.

There was also yet another trans shooter, this one shot and killed his wife and one of his kids and wounded  his other kids in an attempt to kill them, and it seems to be a "trend" lately; guys in dresses pretending to be women committing mass shootings. I mean, it's obvious they're mentally ill, so instead of "affirming" their delusions why aren't they getting some actual real  psychiatric help before it gets that far? My hubby also said in June he has a week-long chess tournament in Calgary so the Edmonton Boys will be driving up to see him( about a 3 HR drive) and then he flies to BC to visit with the girls for another week, giving me a wonderful 2 week break because the youngest is also going up with him to visit his siblings! Yahoo! I get a vacation,too!

Shoutout to every person who’s depression and trauma was so severe that it caused them to self isolate and kill their social life. you aren’t a bad person for recovering and trying to rebuild yourself, it takes years.-Heavensbvnny

 

Wednesday Words.

Mother Nature is a bitch.

and the others are infertile, have blood clots or heart issues.

GOD sends you blessings.

My Spirit animal.😂

The 70's and 80's were good.

The Mark Of The Beast

I think I am okay but then something bad happens and it's like wow I will never stop being 13 years old and lonely.-Red