Daily Thought.

 

Nothing To See Here.

Nothing to see here. Nothing much going on here lately except yesterday was a glorious 19C and Beja and I spent the day outside and now the sunburn on my face turned onto a nice tan and now my face is brown again instead of a sickly pasty white I can go get my passport photo done anytime as I have to re-new it as it expires in November. My hubby is also designing a website for the pickleball club( which he said will only take him a couple of hours!) and in return he gets free membership for a year and the 31 YR old passed the tests at the neurologist yesterday as well and he thinks his headaches are "just" migraines , like the 26 YR old also has and they both likely inherited from me.

Yeah,  SO sorry about that guys.

Yesterday in the afternoon I also had another "episode" again with painful deep burning in the middle of my chest and also in my upper back that time as well and today I also have baaaad abdomenal pain and cough and am sweaty and nauseous,too. 

Ugh.

Just ugh.

I'm tired of always feeling so crappy. Why can't I just hurry up and die already?

Beja is so picky as well he refuses to have his food mixed( everything has to be separate or he won't eat it) and yet he has no problem licking his ass, his dick, his balls, my hubby's sweaty dirty feet, ants off the porch, crap off the carpet, etc.

It also makes me sad that my kids didn't turn out to be sweet & virginal like I was; I didn't lose my virginity until I was 2 weeks away from turning 22 and my hubby's the only one I've ever been with, and the 26 YR old was even sneaking around behind my back with a boy at 17 even though she knew they weren't allowed to date until they were 18 and finished high school.....but she eventually got caught when the boy's parents came by the house and introduced themselves as "the parents of the boy---- is seeing" and I was just completely gobsmacked  and like, Whaaaat? What  boy? She knows she's NOT allowed to date until she's 18!!!" and then they were all apologetic for upsetting me and I reassured them that they weren't the problem and I thanked them for letting me know. I can only imagine the look  I must have had on my face and the conversation they must have had amongst themselves later!

Apparantly my kids were very sneaky and did alot of things behind my back I never found out about until years later.

Where is the love to be found? Won't someone tell me? 'Cause life (sweet life) must be somewhere to be found (Must be somewhere for me).-Bob Marley

 

Today's Truth.

 

Is This Finally It?

Yesterday we had Butter Chicken which is my fave. meal and I thought to myself if I died at least I would die happy enjoying my last meal. Last night around Midnight I was also woken up by really baaaad painful heartburn( or heart-attack warning, it could be either, I'm not sure or how to tell the difference) really baaad deep, boring burning pain in the middle of my chest  I still have on and off now, and also feels like I have a big lump stuck in the middle of my chest as well as in my throat. My cough, stomach and abdomenal pain has also been extra bad for the past few days as well and I had one hell of a headache and was nauseated  yesterday,too, making me wonder if today is The Day and is this finally it? Is today the day I have a heart-attack and I'm finally set free? If so I hope it's when I'm sitting outside in the sun and I peacefully just drift away and it's supposed to go up to 18C! Yesterday I was out all day it was so nice and I even got a sunburned face( see last photo at the bottom.)

Today is also my ex-friend H's birthday and I last saw him in 1984 when he stole my Donkey Kong video game so I beat him up and yesterday for the newly-minted 30 YR old's birthday all the kids "group chatted" with him( like a conference call) even though no one ever calls me on my birthday(or even sends me a card) it's just completely ignored (so it's not that they don't celebrate birthdays; just not mine)and he's even weirder and crazier than I am yet they still like him and I have no idea what I did why they hate me so much even though I did the best with what I had and I'm just me.  I also think Trump staged yet another "assassination" attempt; it was faked, all just theatre, and I saw this commercial for one of those TV crime shows and a lady on there has honest-to-God eyes like a Pug and it just freaked me out.

One of the radio DJs also said Americans think all we do up here is drink beer and watch hockey and the other DJ said that's not far from the truth though and he's right, and I hate it this shithole is also getting increasingly and worse with its hate and racism as well and one guy online said an Indian security guard told him to do something and he sneered he "doesn't take orders from 'brown people'" I hate this place more and more all the time. When I was 18  or so I also used to think people in their 60s were old but now I just see them as people close to my age and yesterday outside Beja kept barking his yappy little bark and got every dog in the neighbourhood going esp. the other Chihuahuas and other little yappy dogs and it was like a dog symphony.

No chains around my feet But I'm not free, oh I know I am bound here in captivity G'yeah, now (never know) I've never known happiness.-Bob Marley

 

Monday Memes.

Harold, is that you?

“One beautiful heart is better than a thousand beautiful faces." ~William Shakespeare

I was dreaming of the past, Why do good times never last Help me Jesus, show the way I can't hold on another day.-Whitesnake

No, I don't know where I'm going But, I sure know where I've been Hanging on the promises In songs of yesterday An' I've made up my mind, I ain't wasting no more time Here I go again Here I go again.-Whitesnake

Weirded out by homes with no pets. Like where is your creature?-Soleil

The biggest kid!

No way God thinks I’m this strong.-27

Excuse me while I light my spliff (Spliff) Oh God I gotta take a lift (Lift) From reality I just can't drift (Drift) That's why I am staying with this riff (Riff).-Bob Marley