Musing For Today.

 

Daffy.

The Mystery Flower has been solved: They're starting to open now and I was right, my original guess: they are daffodils, shown here( next to the Easter lily) you can see the sheath over the buds and some of the buds beginning to open. The Latin name for daffodil is Narcissis  too which is pretty suiting in our family. I also noticed the tips of the leaves are starting to turn yellow so I moved them more into direct sunlight closer to a window in the diningroom and opened up the curtains. I named it Daffy.(Yes, I give names to all my flowers and plants; I'm weird like that, but so is the 23 year old,too, I'm not the only one)and next weekend is Easter so I guess it's time we get rid of the Christmas table cloth and switch it for our Easter dinner. We're just so lazy. Ha! Please also excuse someone's sock that's on the table for some reason,too. We're also slobs. Yesterday 2 guys also came and fixed the furnace, elevating it higher up on a platform made of patio stones or something to keep it safe from any more flooding and it took them 2 hours and it was so loud it shook the entire house whatever tools they were using.

This is also a birthday card the 16 YR old got from my mother but take a closer look.....look closely.... do you notice anything? I have no idea{cough, cough} how it could have got like that....ha, ha...let's just say it's "custom-made" and it's one-of-a-kind.No one else has one like it. I don't even think he noticed it yet.HA! I also heard baseball season is starting and I said Who cares! and my hubby always says Just because YOU don't care doesn't mean other people don't care! and my reply is always Just because other people care doesn't mean I care! and everything is made in China these days, too; even my bong is made in China, and even if I was a millionaire I'd still eat ramen noodles and Kraft Dinner and trans "women" remind me of geldings,too; male horses that have been castrated; they're still males; not females, they just had their balls cut off. My cousin also said I should "be more positive" and "be grateful for what I have such as shelter, heat, food," etc.(although the other day we didn't even have heat) which isn't at all helpful and it's hard to be "positive" with constant bad luck and always struggling and nothing ever going right and always worrying about $$ and having non-stop expenses we can't afford and never getting a break. It's easy for her to say because she's always had $$ and had her first house paid off by the time she was 30.I don't think she's ever had to worry about $$$.

Where do you go when you come from nowhere?

 

Daily Larf.

 

Just. F*ck.

Yesterday was one of those truly horrible, terrible, awful shitty days. We also got snow, a blizzard with gusty blustery winds, so now everything's coated in white again, and as well as my songs being deleted off my iPod I went to put the laundry in the dryer and now that doesn't work,either, so now we had to call yet another repairman in (and he can't come until MONDAY so no clean clothes for us) for more repairs we can't afford plus we had no dry clothes( with the wind I could have hung them outside in the trees to dry like tacky people do but then they also would have blown away down the street,too, it was so windy) so my hubby ran up to a laundry mat( they still have those) and dried them but they closed early before the towels could finish drying so now we still have damp musty bath towels. Yuck! Then, on top of that, I ordered a spicy flatbread from KFC I've been looking forward to and now they say it's been discontinued.

It figures.

Just my "luck."

I wonder what exactly with all this shit the universe is trying to tell me here?

As for my lost songs my mother just shrugged I just have to "start over" but it isn't that "easy" to replace some 2000 songs and it broke my heart to lose them all and last night I was seriously all set to just end it all;  giving up in quiet resignation; just done,just soooo tired of everything all the time; tired of always worrying about $$$$, being in debt until we die, neverending expenses we can't afford, constant bad luck, never catching a break, nothing ever going right, everything always going wrong, always struggling, toxic family, everything we have is shit, etc. and losing my music was just the "final straw"....but then I found out that I still did  have it in my downloads so my hubby still was able to transfer it back on to the iPod afterall and it was saved! What a sheer relief  and so it ended up I didn't end up killing myself afterall and that will have to wait for another day, until Buddy dies anyway because I really didn't want to leave him all alone, but after that there's nothing left for me anymore,anyway.

Yesterday my Dutch Facebook friend also messaged me asking if I was ok, saying she can see I have alot going on and asked if I needed someone to vent to which really meant alot and I thought was nice and Kelly Clarkson always says, Have a good day, and if it's not good, change it but MY version goes, Have a good day, and if it's not good, f*ck it! and the 28 YR old and his boss( who is also now his friend) are going together to purchase a side of beef  and he will chop it up( he knows how to butcher as he used to work at a meat processing plant years ago) into steaks and divide it up and he bought a new Ginsu knife as well and was really surprised I knew what it was so I guess I'm NOT as dumb as they think I am, and he also said he wants to self-publish this big lavish book with photo-shopped photos of him with famous people called, The Fabulous Life Of Mr. B  and I also read somewhere too that Mozart composed a piece titled Leck mich im Arsch  and I have no way of knowing if it's actually true or not, but if it is Mozart was one dirty bird, and I don't need to translate it for you as it's exactly what you think it is! 😂

Reflections in the waves spark my memory Some happy, some sad I think of childhood friends and the dreams we had We lived happily forever So the story goes.-Styx

 

Wordless Wednesday

 

Today's Thought.

 

New Furnace.

Yesterday we had our new furnace put in along with a new digital thermostat! It took the 2 guys 5 1/2 hours to install it and it's smaller than our old one but supposed to be more efficient and quieter and it only took an hour to go from 52 F back up to 70 F. It's a Lennox too which is a good brand and I remember the same kind as our old one back in Ottawa. After all that we asked the guys if they'd elevated it off the ground on a platform like they were supposed to do to save it from more flood damage from the always-flooding basement and of course they didn't- just our "luck" and they said, The head office didn't say anything about that; we were just told to install the furnace....

Oh, f*ck. Of course.

It figures.

So we had to call the office and now they said they'll send someone over tomorrow to elevate it. I just hope they installed it right though and we don't all end up dead from carbon monoxide poisoning or something. I remember at our old house in Ottawa  they screwed it up after the fire; they first of all installed a furnace too big for the house and then they installed it backwards( whatever that means) I swear, we don't have much luck with anything. Neither my mother or I slept well for the past couple of nights either worrying about $$$ and our latest debt having to pay for it over the next 15 YRS and she said why don't I just pay for it with the $$$ I have saved away in my bank account.(even though it costs more than I even have)....except that's for my future when I stop getting an income in 2 years once the youngest turns 18 until I get my old-age pension at 65; for those 7 years I have no income I'll need $$$ and besides, why would I spend my $$$ for those ingrates? Whenever I ask my hubby and mother why they treat me like shit they even blame me too saying You're annoying. That's right; blame the victim.The 28 YR old also asked who gets the debt when my mother and I die and I said the kids and he said with  enough of them dividing it they only have to pay 10$ or so a month each.

Both my eyes are also really itchy and swollen and the lower membranes are fiery red so I'm pretty sure I have Pink-Eye( common with a cold) and my abdomenal and back pain is still really bad as well and also my lower right rib area at the back, and this morning Buddy make this hiccup-sounding noise and he cuddled in right next to me for comfort which was nice, and pretty much all the snow's gone too but we're supposed to get more on the weekend, and yesterday all day right from when I got up I didn't feel "right", like something was "off" and I wasn't quite "myself" and this morning the dryer's not working now,either( I'm just sooooo fed-up with this shit) and yesterday I tried to add a song ( Bullet The Blue Sky by U2) on my iPod too but it wouldn't work saying it was full so I deleted some songs and cleared some space and the 16 YR old helped me to no avail so I had my hubby try and he got it on......but deleted all my other songs off BOTH the iPod AND back-up on my computer,too, over 2000  of them, that it took years  to get and I'll never remember or be able to get back and I'm beyond devastated  and my heart literally hurts; he knows how much my music means to me and how important it is, and knowing him he probably did it on purpose,too, esp. since he knows what he's doing and he does computers for a living, and my music was one of my last  comforts, solace, and joys I have left  and everything I love, care about, or enjoy had been taken away from me and I've lost.  Like Bob Marley said Music is life. He might as well  have just killed me.

But I'd rather be a free man in my grave Than living as a puppet or a slave.-Jimmy Cliff

 

Wednesday Words.

Except not in my case.

This made me laugh my ass off.

My plan from the beginning.

Where there is anger there is always pain underneath. ~Eckhart Tolle