Last To Know.

I'm always the last to know anything. My family never includes me, involves me or ever tells me anything. It's like they're all part of this exclusive, elite secret club that I'm not a member of, that I'm not invited to, and they all have their little secrets and such they don't let me in on or tell me about and even though I'm the mother no one ever tells me anything and I'm always the last to know. A most recent example would be about the 22 year old. I just found out yesterday that she has a BF, that she's been seeing someone now for the past 7 months and apparantly everyone else knew except for me. No one bothered to tell me and I only found out now as she asked to bring him up for Christmas.As it turned out, my hubby and even some of the other kids( except for the ones that live out of province) have even met him a few times, and here I am, not even knowing he existed.

How typical.

Apparantly he 30 and a chemical engineer and they met at some anime club and they have alot in common. I'm happy she's found someone,and someone nice, esp. as she's like me in the sense that she's really socially awkward and doesn't make friends easily, and, in fact, she's in her last year of university( psychology, although she does plan to go for her PhD) and still hasn't really made any friends yet. It hurts though how they don't involve me in anything and how they push me out of my own family. I bet they won't even invite me to their weddings,either.They hate me and blame me for being what I am(with my Asperger's, bipolar, etc.) even though I can't help it. I've always been last in life, too, always the last one chosen for lab partners in school, or for gym partners, or to partner up for projects or for picking teams guess who was always the last one left that no one wanted on their team?....yup....that was always me, the one that no one ever wanted or chose, always the last one left, the last one chosen, the one always left behind.The one rejected. The one not included. The story of my life. I was always the pathetic girl at school dances as well left leaning up against the wall because no guys would ever ask me to dance,either,and I never got asked to Prom or out on dates,either. Always left behind. Always last.

  As well, my foot was so bad in church yesterday I can't bear any weight on it or walk and I limp and hobble along and I've had it now for at least 2 weeks and I thought if I give it time it would get better but it hasn't and keeps getting worse and it feels like the bottom of the heel bone, like maybe it's even broken although I never did anything that would cause it, no falls or injury to explain it, and in church for the standing parts I had to bear all my weight on the other leg and bend the knee on the left leg and elevate it on the prayer bench taking weight off it. I wonder what it is? I'd give it a good 7-8 out of 10 on the pain scale. I also went to Confession yesterday too just in case I am dying soon, just in case. I really feel like I am though, every day I always just feel so sick, so tired, so weak, so nauseated, in constant daily pain, so run down, so ugh, like I'm fading away....