Update.

Buddy seems ok since his experience the other day; yesterday just an "episode" where he'd stare off into space and not respond to anything I think may have been what they call a "Focal seizure" perhaps and another time where he was staring at something entranced, staring intently ahead, transfixed on something, with an expression of awe and wow on his face as if experiencing an amazing vision(perhaps seeing an angel, and if so, is it coming for him...or for me, perhaps?) but nothing like the other day and seems fine otherwise making me wonder what exactly was that and what happened or was it perhaps a hallucination but I can still clearly remember graphically( even with my bad memory and forgetfulness) every single detail and I know what I saw and experienced was real beyond any doubt...but it was just so unbelievable and profound- was he really brought back from the dead by me invoking the Name of God- or was it just a delusion- did it really actually happen or did I just imagine it, maybe I'll never know and that's the thing with mental illness is you always question things like that, such as Was that real? Did that really happen or was it just my mind playing tricks on me? Was that real or just a hallucination? Was it truly a miracle or just a delusion? and you're always left questioning, doubting, and wondering, because the events themselves were real experiences and at the time there was no reason to suggest otherwise; it looked, felt, and seemed real, the feelings and experiences were real, but later on when you look back it was just so mind-blowing you start to question it, yourself and your sanity, was it real or am I just losing my mind and slipping more and more into insanity,and then I feel guilty because if it truly was from God who am I to question or doubt it(and I notice as well just before something occured I also feel a cool breeze as well), but on the bright side if it was just all in my head then it means Buddy is ok and he's NOT dying....f*ck.....being crazy is so hard, and it gets really muddled sometimes trying to figure out what's real and what isn't and I pray to God to help me sort it out and to have the wisdom to know the difference.

As well, Facebook also deleted a comment I posted on a friend's page saying men are pigs replying to his post that men online keep trying to proprasition his wife and they sent me a notification saying it was- get this- HATE SPEECH  and violated their policy standards! WTF? Really? Are you seriously kidding me? Since when is calling someone a "pig" considered "hate" speech? I swear, that Political Correctness crap has gotten waaaay too out of hand and gone way too far; this is nothing more than Fascist censorship! What next? I suppose they think that calling someone an "idiot" or "asshole" is "Hate Speech" now,too? My mother's so cheap as well at the fast-food places she never gets cheese on her burgers either as she says it costs extra so she just brings it home and puts her own cheese on to save $$$ and says I have my own cheese at home; why pay $$$$ for it? and we were watching a 2 HR TV show premiere yesterday too and when I said we'll have to pause it when I have to go pee she was angry and when I reminded her that she pauses it when she has to go to the bathroom so what's the problem she huffed, But that's for me!She really IS something else! Today's also going up to 10 C and we're getting a shitload of rain along with a weather warning; enough rain that's 2 month's worth all in just one day with flooding expecting and then tomorrow freezing rain expecting 1 inch of ice covering everything. Shit. This crap makes me miss Jamaica even more. Everyone has a place where they belong , fit in and feel it's Home and for me that's Jamaica. I also miss the sun.