Here is Buddy, my Christmas elf! 😍 I can't believe that Christmas is just 2 weeks today! The time just went by sooooo fast! The tree still remains undecorated(just lights) as I refuse to decorate it until I can flock it and altthough I did find flocking material on Amazon my hubby balked and refused to order it as it costs 40$ none of the kids want to bother decorating it so I guess we're going for the Minimal Look this year. Next week the 19 YR old also flies in from BC and stays for 10 days and the 17 YR old is sooo excited to see her as they are not only sisters but also BFF's. She didn't pass her driving exam the other day which is sad but my mother said she didn't pass hers on her first try either and that it's common; alot of people don't, and she can always try again and I can never drive due to my perception problem( and I can't judge space or distance) which is worse. She also reminds me of one of those Valley Girls from the 1980's too and fits the sterotype perfectly.
This morning as I bowed down on my prayer rug to do the sunrise prayer I smelled shit(and it was still dark, mind you.....yup...you know where this is going....) and so I got up and turned the light on.....and lo and behold....sure enough there was a gross soft squishy smelly shit....on my prayer rug....and not only that, but it had been smudged meaning I had kneeled down on it......ewwwww....oh, my God! yeeeecccch! The 26 YR old also told me in the middle of the night when I got up to pee in out third-floor bathroom where both our bedrooms are that I have to flush twice( it reminds me of that old joke Flush twice, the Americans need water) and spray the deoderant air spray as it stinks so bad it's un-usable and I felt so ashamed and embarrassed. I know my pee does smell reaaaalllly bad due to my failing kidneys yet at the same time I also can't help it ( and that's why I also wear bladder control pads,too) and it's really humiliating and now I also have a itchy and painful hemmorhoid too and every joint, every bone, and every muscle in my body hurts soooo much constantly every day and worsening my symptoms are the same as Sepsis and Rhabdo so it makes me wonder, or it could be cancer.....in any case, I just got some new weed I ordered from my medical supplier so Christmas is coming early this year for me!
These are also my former sister-in-law ( she has since re-married but we're still friends and keep in touch over Facebook) cool festive Christmas nails and I just LOVE it and wish I could get mine done the same like that,too, and yesterday the kids' new passports finally came as well( it took 5 weeks even though they say 2 weeks) only this time they didn't return their old passports or their birth certificates (I had to send for proof of ID) like they're supposed to and always have before, worrying me that someone there may have stolen them for false ID/ identity theft; typical half-assed gov't incompetence and ineptness, and I heard my mother moaning in her sleep and it sounded like she was having one sexy dream but for some of us old folks sexy dreams is really all we have anymore, and my family seems to think that I've changed too and other than the brokenness that came from trauma I haven't changed; I've always been like this but I was just always forced to hide it, to "mask" because I always had to be the Good Girl but now I'm finally letting the Real Me out and it feels reaaaaalllly good. It's also been 4 weeks now since the 26 YR old's jiu-jitsu head injury and he still struggles with spelling( he never had any issues with before) and now tends to spell words phonectically, like you do when you're first learning English. The 17 YR old also got a grocery bag full of goodies from the store she works part-time at as a bonus for being such a good worker and I get so winded, exhausted, and out of breath going up the stairs to go to bed by the time I get to the top I can hardly even breathe and it feels like I just climbed up a mountain!
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