Ugly Lives Matter!

Last night I had this dream the relative that molested me as a kid for 8 YRS was electrocuted and I watched him die right in front of me. I could have saved him too but I didn't; I just stood there and watched him die. It was very unsettling yet also vindicating. I also came across this word I didn't know the meaning of: pegging so stupid me I Googled  it but now I regret it once I found out what it meant. There are some things that you are better off just NOT knowing and some things you just can't un-see,and my mother keeps pressuring me to automatically transfer 600$ every month from my bank account into hers, saying once all the bills are paid she'll give me what's left over but last time what was "left over" she just kept and never even told me I had; she just stole it, and I shut off all access to my account to her, and even my hubby (for once!) took my side and stood up to her and told her that it wasn't right and we both let her know very clearly that I'll be paying the bills my own way, and since they come in her name she'll just show me the bills each month and what the cost actually is  and then I'll pay them by giving her the exact $$$ only without her actually having any access to or having any actual control of my finances. I may be stupid but I'm NOT that stupid, and since she stole from me(which really hurt me and was a deep betrayal, even though she doesn't even think it was that big a deal!) I don't trust her anymore...and she even takes offence to that,too! I also had this delish gyros yesterday too and it was soo amazing my stomach did a little Happy Dance. I can still remember as well when I was heavily prego with the 22 YR old I was at an Aerosmith  concert and she was bouncing and kicking and rocking away to the music the entire time so it will be interesting to see if she still likes Aerosmith now, and I'll have to ask her.

My friend also said she finally  got to see her son on life-support( they hadn't even let  the family visit for the first couple of days due to COVID....still, if you can believe it!) and despite the dire situtation I still have the "impression" that he's going to survive and pull thru and make a full recovery; that his body just needs time to heal and get stronger and once the drugs do their job in killing the fungal infection he'll wake up out of the coma and open up his eyes and start breathing on his own again but for now he now just needs time to rest while his body fights the infection...The other day out shopping I also forgot my PIN number momentarily and then it came back, thank God as it was sooo embarrassing and I often don't remember my own phone number,either( I'm losing it and my brain is shit) and Buddy's friend's hooman said his 32 weeks prego daughter had a bad reaction to the COVID vaccine too and is in the hospital and they even tried to convince her it was from COVID too and NOT the vaccine, and it's obvious we're in  the Last Days as mentioned in the Book Of Revelation too as we have plagues and increased natural disasters playing out right now with the pandemic, locust plagues, unprecedented flooding in Europe, wildfires, heatwaves, earthquakes, hurricanes, etc.(they try to blame on Global Warming  and Climate Change  but God's people know the real reason) and now also the Mark Of The Beast  with the vaccine,too...it's all here it's just that most people are just too blind to see, and several of my sunflower leaves are yellow now too, usually indicating either over or under watering so I have to figure out which one before they all die(and don't end up with any flowers, just MY "luck") and despite the bug spray I put on the bugs are STILL eating the leaves,too, and maybe that's even what's killing the leaves,too, either the bugs or the spray? Shit!

I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now. -My Back Pages -Bob Dylan