Pieces Of My Heart.
I can still remember what I wore pretty well most of the time in highschool, I guess you could almost call it my teen "uniform": Lacoste "alligator" Polo shirts(I had it in various colours) with Roots track pants( also in various colours) that I would mix and match and wear to school every day.They both had stores in the Eaton Centre right downtown I went to every Saturday anyway so it was easy for me to shop. Those were my Go-To clothes pretty well every day, along with running shoes with pins with beads attached to them, fashion of the time. I miss the 80's and the 70's too. They were great times to be a teen and a kid. I'm also just like one of my fave. flowers,too; the sunflower; I turn towards the sun and the birds(of life) pluck all the seeds out of my face.
I also heard that there's this American gov't official with the last name Blinken and it reminded me of some childhood story with elves or gnomes or something and they were named Winken, Blinken,and Nod, and there's this huge convoy of trucks( transport trucks, the 18 wheeler kind) from coast-to-coast all across the country going to Ottawa in protest of the truckers' vaccine mandates(good for them! Finally someone with enough balls to stand up against tyranny and fight for our freedom!) and they're not backing down until it's lifted but of course you don't see anything about it at all on the news, and I also joke the vaccine clinics for the mass of brainwashed sheeple should be called the Jim Jones (from the People's Temple cult) Clinic and offer a glass of free grape Kool-Aid with each dose as it would be symbolic,
I also realized that sex is like getting high; you like to keep doing it because it feels good and you just vibrate, and when that first "hit" of the bong, or joint, or whatever gets you, you can feel it as you can feel yourself being carried along a different "frequency" in "waves" and vibration and just float away, and I realized as well that redneck clog dancing is Canadian Peasant dancing, and it hurts to realize too that some day soon the day will be coming where I'll have to face either finding Buddy dead or having to watch him die(which would be even worse) and I'll never be 'ready" for that as he's the only reason I still keep holding on; my only reason for living, and without him I'll have nothing left, so I hope and pray that God is merciful and takes us both together at the same time so neither of us is left behind all alone, and there was always so much strife here the kids couldn't wait to move out,either(except for the 27 YR old who is still here and will probably be here forever) and I hope they can forgive me too for NOT being the mother they wanted or felt they deserved but to know that I tried and I did have good intentions and meant well (I just fail at everything)and that they can have understanding,too, that my own traumas, autism,and mental illness also played a part in how I relate and connect to others, how I see things, how I navigate in life, and also how I parent and I'm sorry for whatever harm I've caused but I did my best and I'd take it all "back" if I could. Now most of them are adults and have left home it also feels like I'm starting a new life, a new chapter, sort of like when animals leave the nest.
Last year’s conspiracy theories are this year’s headlines.-Blaire White.
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