My View.

This is my view from the back porch. Yesterday it was so humid and tropical it felt like I was suntanning in the jungle! The wildfire smoke also made my eyes sting and burn and I had to keep putting in eye drops all day and taking allergy pills. My cough is also really bad too and so bad I'm choking now and nearly throw up. I also have this weird pain on the left side of my head as well that feels like electric bolts that keep zapping thru and pain behind my eyes as well that I think must be my sinus as well. My hubby keeps pressuring me to sell the house as well but I won't; as well as I absolutely hate moving( not to mention the stress of selling, house-hunting, buying a new house, packing,etc.) this is my home  and I'm settled here and I love my backyard; it's my peaceful sanctuary, secluded by trees and private, where I can just "disappear" away from the world , smoke weed,(and suntan topless)and relax and watch the birds and enjoy nature. I'll die first  before I'll ever be forced to leave my home. I also heard Harrison Ford is 80 and I couldn't believe it! No wonder he acts like a grumpy old man because he is  an old man and that makes me  feel really old, too, because I saw the first Indiana Jones movie( and all of them since and will see the newest and last one,too) when I was in high school! One of my Facebook friends  also hadn't posted in awhile and I checked and couldn't even find his profile but he's kind of a pervert so maybe he got banned?

I also had this weird thought as well: what if Russia and Ukraine are actually working together  and the 'war" is actually just "staged" and a "ploy" to deplete NATO of it's weapon supply as they're giving most of it away to Ukraine in it's war effort? Wouldn't that just be the most clever thing ever? I would just laugh my ass off!! I also visited my mother yesterday and got her new flowers(they've really gone up in price,too; they used to be 10-12$ and now 25$!) since the others were dying and she never even thanked me for it,either; so entitled she just thinks she "deserves" it, and I got myself some orange Gerbera daisies at the same time,too, and it's awkward and  hard on me to see her in that state; so feeble and helpless and old-looking, and I saw when they tried to get her into a chair for dinner and she didn't co-operate at all; they told her to stand up straight and she just stayed all hunched over and it was really embarrassing, and my hubby said her being a retired medical professional she knows  what to say in order for them to keep her in the hospital,too, and on her chart where it says discharge date it said "longer than 3 days" and I felt a sense of relief, and I wonder as well her deciding finally on a long-term care home if she finally realizes all the damage she's caused interfering and over-stepping boundaries with my kids and is backing-off and knows we're better off without her, or if (like me) she's just given up, only in a more extreme way? I can totally understand that though, and I gave up in the sense that I just don't care anymore and I disconnected, but she's given up completely just laying in bed, in diapers, no longer walking,sitting,washing, or dressing herself, etc.

Yesterday we also stopped off at Tim Hortons to get my mother's vanilla iced coffee she likes and I ordered the yummy chocolate creme drink (I had to take my lactose pill)I like as well and wouldn't you know it( of course, with my "luck") they said they couldn't do mine because something-or-other machine was broken( it figures) and I was looking forward to it,too,and it's always mine,and I was so deflated and defeated.....but then my hubby did something suprising and nice  I wasn't expecting.....he actually went to another location while I was visiting my mother and found it for me and brought it when he came and picked me up, surprising me! I was soooooo happy! It's also so unlike him and I was surprised, but happy! Yay! Wasn't that nice of him?I've been so "conditioned" though it almost feels like a "set-up" and I wondered if he was "up" to something but I still drank it anyway. Life's a risk.From my past I still have the automatic "habit" of always noticing where all the windows and exits are in every room and never sit with my back facing the door as well. Some habits never die.

Got to keep on walking on the road to Zion.-Damian Marley