Festive Digestive.

Yesterday the 17 YR old and I tried the new KFC Festive Chicken Sandwich (shown here) which is the crispy chicken with cranberry sauce and stuffing! I thought it was really good( and they were actually really generous with the chicken too and it was breast which I love,too!) but my hubby grumbled it "Cost more than a pizza!" and I told him It's Christmas-time! Dont' be so cheap! We never did get the snow forecasted yesterday,either, just some flurries but are supposed to on the weekend and Christmas Eve and I heard StairWay To Heaven again on the radio during the night last night again as well and also had this weird dream my mother and I were on some kind of horse-drawn wagon ride and someone was burning horsehit as fuel and it smelled soooo bad and we also passed thousands of kids getting their First Communion and the girls all looked so cute like little brides. 

I also donated to a kids food charity since Christmas is the time of giving(and God loves the charitable) and I think Santa is a creepy pedophile,too: he watches and stalks kids; knowing when they're asleep and when they're awake, the dirty old bastard! I also miss the way I used to feel and be excited for Christmas when I was a kid and even when my kids were little,too, but now it's just not the same anymore; now it's just stress and work and esp. this year with my mother in the ICU it doesn't even feel like Christmas.I'd also logically think(and hope) that since tomorrow it'll be 2 weeks if she was going to die she likely would have by now, in the first 2 weeks,so maybe she will recover, it'll just be a long road?

Yesterday the second-oldest did update me on my mother when she visited her (and the nurse, a male one this time, who seemed nice, also told me when I called for my daily update she's still off the Bi-PAP and her chest X-ray looks good and her urine output is good and she's more awake, which is an improvement and progress) but the other day when I asked her how she was doing after she came back from seeing her said Ask the nurse and I told her, But you just came back, you just saw her, why can't you tell me?

 Sometimes I really think the kids just exist to make my life more difficult.

 They also can't even stand to be in the same room or even in the car with me,either, and that makes me feel like I must be the most repulsive creature ever and you can guess how that makes me feel,  and they hate me just for being me, for being autistic and bipolar I have no control over and can't help and I wish I didn't have either, and yesterday it was funny,too: I heard her say f*ck and it shocked and surprised me because I haven't heard her say it before so it made me laugh and she goes, it's just a word! I'll say it again: F*CK and I told her I don't care; I say it all the time, I was just surprised because I've never heard her say it but when my hubby heard he gasped because he hates that word! 😂

The second-oldest also goes home on Saturday, and on Sunday it's supposed to get cold again, down to -20C and my hubby says the kids never tell me if they have BFs or GFs is because I "interrogate" them by asking  questiions like Where did you meet? How long have you been together? What does he/she do for a living? etc. but it's just because I'm a concerned mother and I just want to make sure that they're with good, decent people and not with some creep, axe-murderer, cheater, abuser, drunk, etc. and that they're happy, just doing what any normal caring parent would do. Well, excuuuuuse me for caring. 

I just can't "win" either way.

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