Aquamarine.

Today I soaked in one of my new bath bombs and I don't know which flavour this one was but it smelled nice and at first it turned the water yellow but then it turned blue and when the 2 blended together it was a pretty aqua colour. Aquamarine.It's also been constantly raining for the past 4-5 days(I've lost count now) and we got over 50 mm of rain and I'm just so tired of it and miss the sun and just want to get back outside again and the almost 26 YR old( in 6 more days) and her BF are moving from their apt in Ottawa to his parents' place(I just wish they'd get married first!) close to Toronto so they can save up $$$ and buy a house close to Toronto( yeah....good luck with that, where houses are starting around a million $$$!!) reminding me of my cousin; for the first 5 years after they got married  at 18 they lived with her grandfather and she saved up her entire salary and they had their first house paid off by the time they were 30. Of course this was back in the 70's though when houses were way more affordable,too. This morning I also slammed that same finger in the same sliding wooden bathroom door I did the other night as well(it just closes/slides so fast I'm not fast enough to move out of the way in time) and now it's just numb. Being stupid is hard and complicates life. I still remember too my friend G always telling me off for being stupid too every time he'd take me for a ride on his motorcycle I'd always burn my leg on something hot on the side.

The postal workers also aren't on strike, at least not yet, and are suggesting a 2 week period of negotiations, which I hope, so I should get my dreads delivered by then, and I think it would be hilarious as well if boob implants had squeakers in them like dog toys and every time the baby nurses they would squeak and guys would also just love playing with them even more, ha,ha, and I joke Buddy being a Dachshund was a hotdog and Beja being a Chihuahua( a Mexican dog) is a chili dog. I also realize I've spent my whole life hiding, covering up, pretending, re-inventing, and starting over just to survive , always vigilant, looking over my shoulder, laying low, etc. it's just become a part of me and a way of life.

I also heard this radio ad saying the business is On Airport Road, right by the airport... really? You don't say? Airport Road is by the airport? Who ever would have thought? I also heard that Peppa Pig's (one of the kids used to watch that when they were younger,too, I can't remember which one) mother had a baby and called her Evie. 

Evie Pig. 

I joke she should have named her Ima.

Ima Pig.....get it?

It's not factual though since pigs don't have single births like most larger mammals do( eg. horses, cows, giraffes, hippos,etc.) but rather large litters of 12 or so piglets, and I'm surprised I'm healing much better than I thought I would after losing Buddy( thanks mostly to Beja) so I must be stronger than I thought but life still feels empty without him, like something's missing, and we had a connection I've never had with anyone else and we were like two halves of a whole and I'll never have with anyone else. There's still this "barrier" with Beja I can't break thru I never had with Buddy,too; with him we both trusted eachother implicitly and I knew he wouldn't bite me no matter what and he let me do anything to him knowing I was helping him and would never hurt him( he even let me pop the cyst on his face!) but with Beja he won't even let me cut his nails, clean his ears or brush him; he's even afraid of the brush! I love him and we're bonding but I'll never have a friend like  I had in Buddy.

There’s a difference between awareness and genuine understanding.-Trevor Bacquet