This is my new computer but I still don't have my music because my hubby can't figure out how to transfer it from my iPod onto the computer and says maybe in another week.....this is getting ridiculous! It's already been a week. I suggested maybe having the 18 YR old take a look at it as he might be able to figure it out but that upsets my hubby that he might know how to do something that HE can't do. I also don't like the way it screen-shots and saves my images either as with the old one I could name them and it was alphabetical but this I can't and they just pile up( they're not even numbered,either!) so I can't just quickly search for a certain one I want and will have to eventually sort thru hundreds, then thousands of images to find the particular one I want when I want to re-use it, such as a joke about Trump. for example.
F*ck.
Not only that but I just got rid of that annoying keyboard and just got my old one back I'm familiar with and doesn't have all those stupid extra keys and misplaced keys I'm not used to like the new one did and tripped me up, confused and frustrated me and slowed me down. I also have my old mouse back(I guess it goes with the keyboard?) and the hamster( wireless mouse with no tail) is gone. I DO like the new monitor though as it's much bigger and makes it easier for me to see stuff. The whole thing is smaller generally though and the CPU is built right into the monitor too and not this huge box-thing that sits on the floor like the old one so I have more room at the desk and it's not as cluttered.
I HATE change though and having to adapt to and learn new things and my hubby makes fun of me for it ( and for NOT being tech-saavy )which is "rich" considering if his routine or schedule is disrupted HE has a shit-fit. and he's autistic,too!!
It's also getting worse with Beja as well( here he is in his new sweater; I was finally able to upload all the photos I had on my device to the new computer so here you are) and now he doesn't even bother with me at all, so not only did the 30 YR old steal him away from me and "replaced" me as his Person and now he likes him more but now he doesn't even like me at all and I hardly even see him anymore and my role has just been reduced to feeding him and cleaning up after he pees and shits in the house. He also howls and bays at the door for hours after he leaves (like he used to do with me) and he doesn't even ask me if he can take him for a walk or to the dog park; he just takes him and then informs me afterwards, as if he's his dog, and yet part of me would just worry the whole time he's gone though if I knew ahead of time,too.
Being crazy is hard.
I reminded him that until I'm dead he's still my dog and not his and he 's so blatant about it now as well and even steals him right in front of me now,too and even rubs my nose in it by calling him, C'mon, Beja! and bribes him with beef jerky treats so he's encouraging him,and when we're both in the same room and he jumps up on the chair with him he praises him, "Good boy!" and it just rips my heart apart.It would be like being forced to watch your hubby with another woman or hearing your kids call someone else Mom. Sometimes I think I should just give up and let him have him( I can't make him love me) and get another dog for me but other times I think no way; why should I just let him steal my dog?
Yesterday as I was outside dozens of yellow leaves also kept raining down on me falling from the sky and it was a magical moment and I was also choking on my pizza and thought to myself, OK, so I guess this is how it ends, this is how I die and laughed at the irony that a fat slob like me dies by choking to death and I still keep trying to end it,too, but nothing works and yet I have no reason to stick around anymore but I have to find a way that's both effective and guaranteed to work yet at the same time NOT painful for me or gruesome for whoever finds me. The post office is also now trying to get rid of door-to-door mail delivery and set up those stupid community mail boxes for everyone where you have to go into town and pick up your mail plus end daily(M-F) delievery to just a couple of times a week so no wonder the mail carriers are on strike, and I support them with this one.
Canada Post can kiss my ass!
They can suck it,too!
The leaves are also changing to pretty colours and that's what I like about fall, just not all the rain or the occult day in the end of October that glorifies Satan, and I also found out my weed dispensary is closing at the end of next month (I got a delivery yesterday)as well as they didn't get their lease renewed and as far as I know they're the only place in town that delivers too so I'll have to find another place but where else will I find such good service?
It just feels like everything's getting worse and coming to an end.
This morning the 30 YR old also had the car overnight and my hubby needed it to play pickleball so he kept calling him at his GF's until he woke up and the rule is he's supposed to ask ahead of time if he can use it and not just take it, and his excuse was he "didn't think my hubby needed it" even though he should assume that he does, and he's always done that; he just helps himself and takes whatever he wants; he takes other people's food without asking, he steals my dog and now he takes the car,too. Hopefully soon he'll move out .
Excuse me while I light my spliff.-Bob Marley
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