Trading Up.

Yesterday my hubby got me a NEW computer( but it won't actually be delivered for up to 5 days as it was out of stock and I was hoping he'd have it with him in the car so I could use it right away; doesn't it figure?) and this is the the first time ever that I got a new one; I always just got the kids' crappy old used hand-me-down ones so hopefully the new one will actually work and NOT always "freeze" and take longer than Jesus' Second Coming to load!

 The bad thing is though is I also lost all my photos of Buddy I had saved on my old one.

 That's what really hurts.

He also picked me up this cute chenille hippo plushie he found at a craft sale or something AND a pumpkin spice candle and it's one of the expensive ones too with 2 wicks you get at one of those fancy boutiques, not the usual cheap-ass Wal-Mart specials I usually get! I wonder why he's suddenly being so nice to me though? What's "up" with him? What's suddenly gotten into him? He doesn't know I'm suicidal again either as I never actually told anyone because no one really cares anyway and if he knew he'd only just try and push me to do it. He's also trying to "wean" me off the Ferrero Rocher chocolate bars I love for the cheaper Lindt ones but that's like trying to compare Hersheys (which tastes like soap!) to Cadbury.

Nope, it's just NOT happening.😂

Using the temporary laptop I also can't charge my iPod either(I found out the hard way when my battery died) or upload any photos but I had another idea how to do it: I plugged in my device elsewhere where the youngest charges his and I had my hubby take a photo of my hippo & candle with his phone and e-mail it to me and I just took a screen-shot  of it and then I was able to post it. There's usually another way around things. I also heard Stairway To Heaven again this morning when I woke up and I still have the agonizing stomach, abdomenal, and back pain,too, it must be daily for the past 2 weeks now  extra baaaad and it's the kind of pain where you just rock from the pain and wish you were dead.

Yesterday my hubby also picked up these yum, yum, yummy chocolate mint Girl Guide cookies, the only kind I like, but soooo much so I could honestly eat the entire box in just one day! We've never agreed with their ideology though, the Femi-Nazi agenda so we never sent our girls to Girl Guides when they were little but rather to the boys' Cub Scouts with the church instead which gave them the same camping and other skills and cameraderie only without all that "Girl Power" crap and now it also gets dark just after 7 pm and it didn't used to until 9 pm and soon it will be dark by 5pm. Ugh! I also heard a hockey stick costs between 200-400$ and I flipped! Holy shit! They couldn't even PAY me that much to watch that crap!

I also noticed the 30 YR old threw away a plushie his GF gave him(and he likes!) in the hallway garbage so I rescued it and asked him what it was doing there(I even wonder if they had a fight  or broke up) and he had no idea and said it wasn't supposed  to be there and had no idea how it got there and said it was supposed to go in the washing machine (maybe Beja peed on it?)  and he kept saying, Stop saying that!! and it worries me maybe he has some sort of  brain damage from all his concussions and it makes him do strange things? He also takes Beja for walks now like Buddy and I used to do 3-4 times a day until the last year of his life when neither of us were able to walk anymore. He really used to enjoy it and that was our special thing. Beja has now also "traded up" and left me for the 30 YR old now(I'm always being replaced) and now's he's the one he gets excited to see, sad when he leaves, and follows around now and I hardly even see much of him anymore; it's like I don't even have a dog anymore but I'm not going to "fight" it.

I simply just don't have any fight left in me anymore.

I'm done fighting.

I'm just done,period.

Our memories of yesterday Will last a lifetime We'll take the best, forget the rest And someday we'll find These are the best of times These are the best of times.-Styx