Diwali.

Last year I missed the Diwali festival in a nearby town I didn't know about until it was over and I was sad as I wanted to go as the food, music, dancing,etc. would have been awesome so this year I was prepared and knew it must be coming sometime soon as Diwali is in October so I checked to see when it was so I could go.....and of course it has  to be the same time my hubby's away in Quebec the same weekend for his chess tournament  and the 30 YR old can't drive me either as my hubby has the car so I still  can't go and miss it again  this  year,too!

Doesn't it just figure?

MY typical "luck."

I seriously have nothing to look forward to anymore.

I keep waiting for my "break" to come, for something good to happen, for something to get excited about, but it just never happens.

It's also going to a warm summer-y 27 C this weekend and I saw a chipmunk running up a huge maple tree and those little guys must be fearless because to scale in comparison that would be just like us scaling a skyscraper!

One of my cousins in Europe her son( in his 20's, the one who's an accountant) also had painful legs yesterday and couldn't walk so off to the hospital he went and they admitted him and apparantly he has a "narrowing" of the veins leading to his heart and sees the vascular guy today. Holy f*ck! I hope he doesn't have DVT and have clots that go to his heart ,lungs,or brain! It's such a surprise too because he's such a young, healthy guy( or so we thought,anyway) and I can't help but wonder if he recently got the Flu or Covid shot... I was also re-reading old blog posts a month before my mother died to see what was going on and she did have a bad cough which looking back must have been the beginning of the pneumonia which eventually turned septic causing the cardiac arrest that eventually killed her 3 weeks later.

The 30 YR old wasn't here all day yesterday to steal Beja but he still never bothered with me but at least I was spared the added insult of having to be forced to watch the two of them together and I just feel like a total failure too always being a bad daughter, a bad wife, a bad mother, and even a bad pet owner( or at least according to the 30 YR old,anyway) and I failed at everything I've ever tried  in my life and in every role I've ever played even though I do try; it's just not ever good enough and I'm sorry for being me and again yesterday my hubby snarled at me, How many times do I have to keep saying the same thing before you understand? (because I need things explained more than once) and it's hard being stupid but it's even harder to always be belittled because of it.

'In life they were not divided, and in death, they were not separated.'-Henry685