Surrender.

I surrender.

I finally have to admit it.

Summer is over now.

Yesterday we got a shitload of rain. It was torrential(like a monsoon!) and just came pouring down but we really needed it actually and are still technically in a drought. Now it really and truly actually looks and feels like fall all of a sudden. I really don't even notice any difference though with Canada Post on strike as we hardly get much mail anyway so it's just less "work" for me now as I don't have to check for mail anymore now. Beja is still back to loving me again which I am sooooo grateful for and I really missed him and am glad to have him back again. Yesterday a big metal wire also went sproiiing  out of my mattress and poked a finger-tip-sized hole in the back of my pants and I've been poked and scratched by them before,too, so I guess I'll have my hubby flip the mattress over for me. I tried but it's waaaaay heavier than I expected and I can't lift it. I got it back in 1996 after the fire so it's really old but I loathe to spend hundreds of $$$ , esp. on something like a mattress, just like I hate spending $$$ on things like socks and underwear.

The almost 31 YR old ( on the 18th) also told me now he's planning on becoming a nurse!

First of all he showed me this beaded thing that looks like a mini abacus he said is a tool to help him be able to do "complex math in his head quickly" (I don't know why he doesn't just use a calculator like normal people) something I've never been and will never be able to do  so I asked if it was for some sort of party trick, like to impress guests and he said no, it's  because he plans on taking nursing at the college in January as there's a nursing(as well as doctor) shortage here in the Shithole and so the gov't's offering a free RN course. I'm wary though because he always bounces from one thing to the next with nothing ever lasting for too long( plus I also just can't see him wiping someone's shitty ass!) and he hasn't done the chandelier repair job for months now and I don't know what happened now to his plan of buying out the business once the boss retired, and he just started his new lash business.....and now this?

 My hubby said he knew it was the plan for awhile now,too, but of course no one ever tells me anything(it's like I'm not even part of the family and I'm never "in on the 'loop'") and I'm always the last to ever know anything. He says he plans to live in residence as it's in a town 20 min. away(finally moving out?) but my hubby says they actually have a bus between this town and the college which would save him alot of $$$ compared to paying for residence.

I also saw a math book he had on the table( shown here, and I don't know why the photo ended up sideways but I don't know how to fix it so you're just stuck with it and have to turn your head sideways) and I was practically traumatized  by it.

My God, how I hated  math in school; it was the only subject I kept failing and just couldn't "get" no matter how hard I tried or how long and hard I studied. I think I must be missing the part of my brain that does math.

Math will always be the bane of my existance.

If I should die before I wake it's one less smile I'll have to fake.