Calm Before The Storm.

Yesterday the 31 YR old was at his GF's for the morning so I got to spend it with Beja before he came in and took over!  Today is also the calm before the storm: originally they forecasted we get our first snowfall of the season tomorrow to just be a trace but now have updated it to a Special Weather Advisory and said up to 15 cm!  I wonder what Beja will think of it? Will he like it (esp. since he's so playful?) like Buddy's "Baby Mama" did or will he hate it like Buddy did?(but he was a grumpy old man) I'm so glad we already got the snow tires on the car! I can just imagine everyone else scrambling around Monday at the auto body shop! Twice the other day I also heard 2 separate times a rough, evil, gravel-ly "demon"-style voice clearly and loudly and distinctly say, I'm not going to hurt you; I'm just having fun that seemed to be coming from the radio that freaked me out so it's either(I hope!) just part of a song...or else I'm hallucinating again. I can also still remember when Bruce Springsteen first made it big  in 1984 and I wrote an entry into my diary at 17:

"There's this new singer named Bruce Springsteen and I like his music, his voice, his style, his everything."

I also got this photo of the 31 YR old with his beard shaved off but he looks creepy scary, like a psychopath,(or a 70's porn star) ha,ha! 😄 There just seems to be something "chilling" in his eyes. I also miss my mother more now during the holiday season since Christmas was always her fave. holiday and she died 3 days after Christmas  but last night I had this weird dream where she selfishly insisted that her donut was "more important" than my entire wardrobe that I (actually did in real life) lost in the fire, reminding me what she was really actually like ( not valuing me, always putting me down, criticizing me, blaming me for everything, never taking my side or having my back or backing me up, being demanding, selfish, always taking over, over-ruling me, not being supportive, interferring, etc.) so now I don't miss her as much anymore.

I will always love and miss Buddy though.

I've never loved anyone like I loved him and no one ever loved me like he did.

He was my entire world, my entire life.

He was the best thing to ever happen to me.

When he died I died with him and when I lost him I lost myself,too.

I also look at former neighbour's houses on the street and still refer to them by their names,too, even though they've moved out years ago and other people live there now, such as " Sheila's house", "Patti's house", McKenna's house", Donna's house," etc. and I wonder if other people do the same or if it's just me being weird again?  The Feds also "culled" (read: killed) over 300 ostriches on a BC ostrich farm saying the risk of Avian Flu, despite only 6 of the birds testing positive and a fight by the owners of the farm all the way to the Supreme Court who refused to hear their appeal.

It's just beyond cruel, and that's their livelihood,too.

What next? Coming after our family pets?

She lost the feeling that she was even a person.-Gaye Doucette