Kaleidoscope.

Last night I got to enjoy my Disco ball style kaleidoscope light, but of course not without difficulty.

The story of my life.

and it pisses me off to no end too because it's always like that. Even the smallest thing always has to go wrong and can never go right, even though the small things are all I have now to bring a bit of joy into my wretched life.

First of all it got screwed in and turned on.....and just a clear light was spinning around so I was waiting for the colours to start swirling, maybe it just needs to "warm up" a bit.....

still nothing.

Then I asked my hubby to check and see Maybe there's some sort of switch on there to turn the colours on?

There wasn'.t.

Then I looked closer and saw right there clearly written on the front of the package it said WHITE light.

He just didn't read the label again like always.

So back he went again to the store, to get the right one this time, grumbling, Why would they even make white ones?(pictured above here is the right one, finally, at last)

Here is what the actual bulb itself looks like, like a Disco ball, and once turned on( below).....amaaaazing! I just love it! It brings me back to my childhood in the 70's. What I didn't know is it's actually supposed to be Christmas lights but I thought all this time it was just a funky psychedelic Disco-ball type thing and I'm still going to use it all year. You can even see if from outside and from there it looks like the Northern Lights are inside our house!  I was originally going to have it in my bedroom but then my hubby said he'd have to remove the "plate" off my light I really like and matches my room decor (and has sentimental meaning as well; the contractors that rebuilt our old house in Ottawa after the fire were kind enough to get that specific one for me as it matched my decor I thought was thoughtful and kind and I never forgot it) and also the more I thought about it I'll get more use out of it in the rec-room( where my computer is) than in my room anyway, as I spend more time there, and Beja might also likely bark at it in my room as well so it's now in the rec-room, and this way other people also get to enjoy it as well.

I still also have the god-awful abdomenal, stomach, and back pain, and it's the kind of pain that's soooooooooooo baaaaad where I just curl up into a ball and bring my knees to my chest and rock back and forth and I also have piercing gas cramps with it as well, and it's shocking how painful gas can be, and yesterday when I told the youngest( who is 18 now) the second-oldest turned 35 he just looked at me long and hard and goes, You're.....OLD! and I think it was the first time that he realized how old his parents actually really are, and I had him when I was 40, but it was just so funny, and I had a good weekend with Beja as well as the 31 YR old was off with his GF most of the time and so not here to steal him off me and for both nights he also slept on my pillow curled up right next to my head as well which was nice. Hopefully once he moves out for school Beja and I can re-connect and he can come back to me again and be like we used to be before he snatched him away.

I also like this Christmas decoration, also reminding me of my childhood Christmases in the 70's, and exactly a month today  is Christmas Eve already and it'll be December soon and it'll be a hard month for me to get thru too as most of last December my mother was in the ICU and then she died 3 days after Christmas so there's lots of sad memories that will come flooding back at that time of year and it will never be the same for me again,  and despite the ceasefire Israel still attacked Gaza again and over 20 people were killed and they also bombed Beirut (Lebanon) as well and yet still no one does a thing and they continue to get away with it, and one thing I also don't "get" are marathons and how people actually enjoy them and the only way you'd ever see me running is if something or someone is chasing me.

It destroyed the life I had so completely that I wish I had never become a mother. I regularly find myself thinking that my husband, my parents, my siblings, and my friends would all be better off without me.-Flora Rido