Bad Year.

Here are some photos of houses I like. It has also been a baaaaad year for me and I'm glad to see it go.

The worst, of course, was losing Buddy, who was my only reason to live, to keep holding on, the only joy and love  and good in my life. It was compounded by losing my mother the end of December last year as well, and the fact that I was left to grieve my losses all alone with no support and no one to talk to, making it that much worse, being all alone. The best thing of the year was I finally got to see Foreigner  in concert but that was it. The rest of the year was shadowed in grief, loss, sorrow, and just wanting to die.

I still feel that way now and each and every day I keep begging God to set me free and take me to the Other Side.

I have nothing left here anymore, not even Beja, and, in fact, he not only likes the 31 YR old the best he even likes my hubby more than me as well; the only one he likes less than me is the youngest and that's only because he totally ignores him and wants nothing to do with him. I'm only good enough to hang around as a last resort when there's no one else.

Yesterday the youngest didn't like it when I was singing out loud to my Reggae, so 2 different times during the day he decided to "punish" me by blasting redneck country music(he knows I HATE) over the Google Home device just to piss me off but it was easily remedied; I just unplugged it, and my hubby also refused to give Beja his Dog Jog yesterday,too, saying, You don't get your Dog Jog today!  and I asked him, Is it because you don't do it on the Sabbath Day?  and he snarled, No, it's because of YOUR STUPID MUSIC!!

He always gets that mixed up.

It's NOT my music  that's "stupid"; it's his "taste" in music that's stupid.

Last night the 31 YR old also went to an early NYE party, even in the freezing rain( not so good to be driving in!) without even asking; he just took the car, and I told him NOT to drink too much or drink and drive and he actually seemed offended and said, I don't know where you GET it from you think I have a problem with alcohol.....

C'mon.....REALLY?

He's got to be kidding me!!

Yesterday and today we also have really shitty weather( or "Everything except locusts" as the weatherman said on the radio this morning) freezing rain, heavy rain, flooding, and fog so bad it's zero visibility. I also miss my mother more than I thought I would because I chose to remember the good times and not the bad as I feared if I dwelled on the bad times I probably wouldn't miss her at all and that thought just makes me sad.

He often wandered around all alone in search for something that wasn’t there.-Thomas Cayne