Pomme.

It's snowing again yesterday and today and I took these photos early this morning before the sun came up. I cut Beja's nails yesterday and even with my hubby helping to restrain him it was like trying to catch a cat in a bag; he kept squirming, biting, and scratching and I got scratched up so bad my poor arms looked like I was attacked by a cat! He can be such a little asshole. I also put ear drops in his ears and the apple cider vinegar on his feet at the same time. It makes me feel torn, and like mixed emotions ; sometimes I love him so much and yet at the same time it'll never be like it was with Buddy and then I feel badly, and then when he does stuff like this( and also the fact that he sold me out for the 31 YR old and replaced me with him as his Person) I don't really like him that much and then I feel badly. It also hurts that I always love people more than they love me and I also think I love them more than I think I should  too considering how they treat me. Yesterday he also peed upstairs on the floor and my hubby was so mad at him he punished him by saying no more Dog Jogs for him all day and he understood and just gave him this Look  and he scrunched up his cute little face and actually started grumbling  and talking back and it was just the funniest thing ever!😂

This morning I also saw a Dior men's cologne in the bathroom that belongs to the 31 YR old and it's called Homme (French for "man") only I don't see too well and at first I thought it said Pomme(which means "apple") and I thought that was weird; what an odd name for a cologne, ha,ha, and yesterday he was nagging me to "Get a job" like at McDonald's  so I could get $$$ for new hearing aids despite my medical issues and incl. the fact that I can't stand for long and then he says do part-time even though I can't stand part-time,either, so I told him, maybe it's better I just apply for Disability  like he's  doing instead and then he shut up. 

He also kept leaning the recliner chair back hitting the Christmas tree and repeatedly knocking an ornament so I just asked him to move the chair more forward but he refused and still  kept doing it and kept provoking and goading me, getting me madder, and then when I got mad and yelled he kept mocking me and then him and my hubby blamed me  and said it was MY fault for getting so mad and said I was "so irritating" and "annoying" and I didn't have to yell.

Really?.

So they're allowed to provoke, goad, and mock me but I'm NOT allowed to get upset?

I really am looking forward to when he finally moves out.

Not only will I get my dog back but I also won't have to put up with his shit anymore.

I also heard the saddest thing the other day,too: an 8 year old was having his bath and he saw his mother's plugged-in hair dryer on the counter and he thought it would make bubbles for his bath......

He ended up electrocuting himself and died.😭

That's just the saddest. most tragic thing. It gives me a good idea though....

I also feel for my entire life that I'm just an actor playing a part, playing different roles thru my life but not really actually feeling it, just going thru the "motions" and it changes and gets re-invented over the years but my real life  and the real Me is waiting for me on the Other Side  and I really need something good  to happen to me for once.

Get up, stand up Stand up for your rights Get up, stand up Don't give up the fight.-Peter Tosh