Croak.

Yesterday I just hurt sooooo much and felt sooooo bad I honestly thought I  was going to croak.

Beja could tell I hurt and knew something was wrong,too, and he was worried about me and kept coming up to check on me all day and give me kisses. Wasn't that just so sweet? When I woke up from my afternoon nap I had that same blinding splitting headache like that woke me up in the morning and I was sooooo dizzy with I could hardly stand up and I was nauseated as well. I wonder if I maybe DO have a brain tumour or perhaps it's a stroke or aneurysm coming on? Then on top of that( as if that wasn't bad enough) I also bent down to pick something up.....and put my back out *REALLY*  bad, a ripping, searing, white-hot pain and I'm pretty sure I pulled a muscle because now every time I even move( try to stand up, change position, lay down, sit up, walk, bend over, turn in bed, etc.) the pain is just so unreal I wince and grit my teeth and suck in my breath, scream,you get the idea). My hubby says as long as I hurry up and die before September(when my life insurance expires) he can not only sell the house and move into an apt but even retire 3 years early, too. I also get sad whenever I see commercials for the TV shows Chicago Wednesday(Med, Fire, and PD) and Law & Order Thursday  because my mother used to always watch them and she's gone now.

I also wonder if my need for daily naps(due to my extreme fatigue and not being able to get thru the day without it) has anything to due with menopause or just my constant ongoing chronic and worsening medical issues as I noticed I've had it for the past 6 years now ever since I had my hysterectomy and thus the beginning of menopause so it makes me wonder if there's any connection or if it just happened at the same time? I also wonder if maybe my BP was really high, yesterday to explain the headache, like 200-over something like my worst has been before but it was "just" 144/82 which for me really isn't too bad and 82 is actually kind of low, so it wasn't that, and Beja and I got to be outside yesterday again and I heard a chickadee and it made me smile, reminding me of being at camp and the cottage as a kid, and the Ontario premier also bought a private jet( a used one, but still) for 30 million$$$ that taxpayers pay for but why can't he just fly commercial like the rest of us? 😠

Tho' I keep searching for an answer, I never seem to find what I'm looking for Oh Lord, I pray You give me strength to carry on, 'Cos I know what it means To walk along the lonely street of dreams.-Whitesnake