Life Is Still Unfair.

If you look closely you can see the squirrel perched up on the fence Beja is looking at. We got to be outside for a long time today before it pored rain later on. It also got up to 21 C and yet tomorrow only getting to a high of 5C and-gasp!-maybe even going to snow  on Monday! I also finished watching all the new Malcolm In The Middle re-boot episodes( they only had 4) and he's still an asshole and ashamed of his family  as they're loud, weird, and dysfunstional (like us) even though(also like us) they're good people who love their kids and I can also TOTALLY sympathize with his dad,too, I feel the exact same; once the kids grew up he had no purpose or meaning in his life anymore and no one needed him anymore and he didn't like them as adults. The original show also had the tag-line Life is unfair  and now it's Life is still unfair.

I love it.

Today when I wiped my ass I also saw blood -bright red- blood( meaning it's "fresh") and it was quite alot of it as well plus a few clots,too, and it was 3 toilet papers.....

My abdomen also feels all warm & crampy like with bad period cramps.

oh, f*ck, what now?

I wonder if maybe what I thought  was just a pulled muscle in my back yesterday was maybe actually something else, something else torn or ruptured and the ass was just an exit? Maybe that's why I'm also so dizzy, from blood loss?

Or maybe it's just my Diverticulitis again; maybe some the sacs are inflamed or infected, or I have more colon polyps like I've had twice before( and had removed) or it's colon cancer?

Either, way, f*ck.

I was originally going to post this tomorrow but decided to do it tonight instead just in case I slowly bled to death during the night.

At least if so you'll know why.

My hubby also has this idea in his fat head to move to London "For the future grandchildren" thinking the almost-30 YR old and his fiance will have a baby soon even though they've been together for 8-9 years already and "can't" get married until his parents die( his dad's still alive now) as they're devout Jehovah's Witnesses and they don't want to get dis-fellowshipped for associating with him if so, but I don't even think they'll be having  kids ; the trans-thing for one thing; being a trans man why would he want to do a female  thing like get prego and give birth, and even if he did( I know this whole thing is just so weird) he likely couldn't because the testosterone would stop ovulation(plus his "fertile window" is also narrowing with age) and even if it didn't the baby would likely end up deformed from the hormones. 

 I also smoked some good weed today and had a hallucination of "Carla" from Scrubs as a Chihuahua, and I'm also NOT the only  one now that thinks Trump could be the Anti-Christ although I also expected that the Anti-Christ would  be much smarter.

I also found this long grey hair only it's not mine or my hubby's(it's way too long) so is it my mother's? Is it somehow possible that she visited from the Other Side and left it behind?

The moment he arrived, he chose her. Curled up on her chest like he had always belonged there. Like he knew. Now the silence is gone. Replaced with soft breaths, tiny paws, and quiet companionship.-Luna Grace