Running With Scissors.(Formerly HippoRastaPotamus): Love Me Like That.

I noticed one of the neighbour's maple tree leaves are out now, still tiny but finally open. The 26 YR old also sent the youngest a pizza for doing her taxes for her and I heard last night someone tried to take a shot at Trump at the White House Correspondants dinner but too bad he missed, and Israel is now trying to do the same thing to Lebanon to expand their territory like they did to Gaza and yet no one ever stops them. WTF? I also wish Beja could love me the way he loves the 31 YR old and my hubby, both who he loves more than me and prefers to me and it's hard when you love someone more than they love you and yet it's always been the story of my entire life.

Buddy was the only one I was ever anyone's favourite and not the "Last Resort". It did take awhile to bond with Beja(and not quickly like it was with Buddy) as I was afraid at first of being "disloyal" to Buddy and also scared of loving him "too much" as I was also scared of losing him too so I didn't want to risk getting too close and then with the 31 YR old always "hogging" him off me and him always choosing him( and to go off with him) instead of me only made it even harder and then once he moved out he stuck even closer to my hubby rather than to me and it hurts.

He's my dog and I'm supposed to be his Person.

At least the good of it is when I die I have the comfort of knowing that either of them will take good care of him and he'll be happy and have a good life.

My hubby also fell asleep yesterday again( despite denying he's an old man!!) so I had some fun with the Sharpie pen, shown here. I was originally going to write loser but decided on this instead as its only 3 letters and quicker in case he woke up .I still don't think he ever even noticed and as far as I know anyway he went to bed like that last night, totally oblivious and unaware. HA! Another reason I also don't want to sell the house and move( as well as raising my family here, building a life and memories here and not wanting to disrupt my life plus I abhor the hassles and stress of moving as well) is I fear I'll deeply regret it just like I did for leaving my old Toronto house which I left in 1984 and for all these years still regret it and wish I had stayed.

I also look forward to the day I cross over to the Other Side as I will not only be reunited with Buddy again but also no longer have any more stress, anxiety, or worry, no more worry about losing someone I love, no more worry about money, or losing my house, etc. I can just be and finally find peace , happiness, acceptance, love, and inclusion that has always eluded me in life and everyone else will be better with me gone as well and if I'm the "problem" and what holds everyone back just remove me from the equation and everyone will be happy.

So why is it taking so long?

Unspoken bonds are the strongest.