Reverse.

Here is the 31 YR old hard at study at his Pre-Med course. He already looks like a doctor in his white lab coat.

Look at him. Doesn't he look sharp?

This morning when I took Beja out for his pee it was only 1C and I could see my breath. I also still have the really baaaaad stomach & abdomenal pain, nausea and blurry vision. Yesterday my hubby and I were also both in the same room and Beja just left me and went over to him and kept jumping all over him, smothering him with kisses and wouldn't let him leave and eventually fell asleep on him, ignoring me and it really hurt. Of the 3 of us that live here it's only the youngest he likes less than me and only because he completely ignores him. He likes my hubby and the 31 YR more than he likes me and it hurts esp. since he is my  dog.

No one will ever love me like Buddy did and I really miss that....and him.

I'm not even my own dog's favourite and I still can't get over my friend W refusing to let me use him as a reference for my passport.

Seriously though, WTF?

It feels like everyone hates me and I have no idea why.

I know I have autism & bipolar and people don't like it and don't like me because of it but at the same time I also can't help  it and it's just me  and I don't know who else to be and I've tried being someone else but it just doesn't work.

Try not to cry.

I also decided if I get really short of $$$ and desperate I can always take out a Reverse Mortgage on the house so I'll have an income and some $$$ to live on and  the kids really don't deserve to inherit the house or the proceeds from its sale anyway considering how they treat me and have "disowned" me and have nothing to do with me and I don't even hear from them on my birthday or Mother's Day so if they don't acknowledge me as their mother in life why should I acknowledge them as heirs at my death? I can use the $$$ now to live while I'm alive and that way my hubby also can't force me to sell the house or move if I've done a reverse mortgage,either. At least it's good to know that I have that option. My hubby also says that him and the kids text/chat daily except for the oldest making me wonder if he doesn't like his siblings, or they don't like him, or else he just doesn't have the time for mindless dribble they always talk about, like meaningless anime?

My hubby also said next weekend (the second-youngest also turns 23) him, the youngest, the 26 and 30 YR olds are going to a Kirby convention/expo in Windsor and he's also going to be able to fulfill a wish on his Bucket List as well, laying on a bed of nails, the masochist that he is, ha,ha, and Beja loves to chase squirrels( he's such a bully!) even though they're pretty much the same size he is!

Small dog, big presence.

Small dog, big attitude.

From the bottom of my heart, I just want life to get better. I'm so tired.-Yimika