Bubble Me.

I tried to "initiate" Beja into the "Official Chihuahua Club" by "Bubbling" him, something my BFF and I made up for our Chihuahuas when we were 12(and Buddy is an "honourary" member being a Dachshund; he was an exception) but it failed miserably; he quickly pulled his head back in anger and tried to bite my face off so I guess he's still not mine.

Not really.

There will always be this barrier I can never seem to break thru.

I know that no one will ever love me like Buddy did but I wish he would at least love me the way he loves my hubby & the 31 YR old though, esp. since he is my  dog.

I also can't believe it's already past the middle of July and I still have the really baaaad abdomenal pain & cramps and bad back and this morning I also woke up with a blinding headache as well. It really would be nice to have a day without pain but it's been so long I can't remember what that feels like. I also saw something I haven't seen for a couple of days with the wildfire smoke: a blue sky! My legs hurt for the past few days as well, sore, achy, weak, tired, heavy, numb, tingling, and my left leg is swollen almost twice the size of my right leg so maybe I have vascular/circulation issues?

A good thing about the wildfire smoke( which also makes Beja's eyes all watery and makes mine sting & burn,too) is no one will be able to notice when I smoke mi ganja now and when I was out in the yard opening up a can of pop a woman next door cracked about me, "Now she's cracking open a cold one!" meaning beer, even though it was actually a caffeine-free diet cola and I don't even drink alcohol so suck it, bitch, and now Americans are mad and hate and blame us for the wildfire smoke wafting over to them, as if we do it on purpose  (what are they going to do, tariff us 20%?)and are even threatening to annex and invade us and start a war, proving they're even dumber than I originally gave them credit for and possibly the dumbest people on Earth and did they forget that California also has wildfires and when they did we sent over water bombers to help?

 If your neighbour's house is on fire you'd normally feel badly for them and NOT be mad because of all the smoke and burnt smell on the street, but they're a bunch of assholes so they can just consider the smoke a big old fart from us to them,  and even though I think Canada sucks,too, I'm like my cousin; he knew and agreed his mother (my aunt)was a bitch and even said so himself but when his friends said it he got mad and defended her.

With the smoke my chest hurts as well and it's harder for me to breathe( esp. with my breathing issues) and the Maskhole sheeple  are back again wearing masks like during Covid and people are afraid to go outside and are cancelling outdoor events,etc. but life goes on and it's summer and people want to be outside and not trapped indoors all day and I won't be intimidated  and as I was sitting out yesterday I felt what I first thought were raindrops falling on me but it was actually ash from the wildfires and I can only imagine how it must be for the poor people actually living thru it! 

I also get sad every time I eat ramen noodles now as my mother used to always have me save the juice for her she'd drink like a tea but now she's gone I don't have to save it anymore or anyone to save it for and I even like it when characters in books, TV, movies, etc. find love even though I know it's not real and just pretend because it's still happy  and sometimes I can't tell the difference between it and reality either as I even find myself praying for characters too, that things will work out ok for them, so I guess  it means I'm not only crazy but also empathetic as well which isn't a bad thing.

The hardest thing about carrying sadness is that the world still expects you to keep moving as if nothing is wrong.-Somboy