Just This.

Nothing much really going on lately except now my abdomenal pain is soooo bad now I don't even want to eat anymore because whenever I do the pain just gets worse so I have to force myself. My hubby also says when I die he's going to post on my Facebook I went to Africa and got eaten by a hippo.

Seriously though, WTF and what the f*ck is wrong with him?

Yesterday I also saw a hawk flying overhead so I quickly hustled Beja back inside the house and now I know why he kept frantically barking at a danger. I also saw a video of groundhogs standing calmly in a row getting their nails cut by the zoo keeper/groomer and my dog won't even let me cut his nails so I guess he really is a diva. I also saw my hubby plug a USB thingy into my computer and it looked like he was downloading something so what exactly is he copying off my computer, I wonder ,and what is he up to now?

I also heard famous Canadian astronaut Jeremy Hanson just suddenly quit the Canadian space agency after he just went to space and now going into another career altogether making me wonder if they did him dirty somehow and screwed him over, perhaps trying to force him into some false narrative or lie about something he refused to do esp. since it IS a gov't agency and I wouldn't put it past them, and former Toronto mayor Rob Ford(who died of cancer 10 years ago) wife also died(at least they're together now; he'd be waiting for her) and she was just 55 and they didn't release cause of death, making me wonder if it was something "shameful" such as drug overdose or suicide, and I predict that Morocco will win the  FIFA World Cup  and I can still remember as well when I was in my late 30s and a relative(Babushka's nephew/my father's cousin) reunited my father and I by e-mail, our first since he left when I was 2 years old and we exchanged photos and his reaction was I was "nothing to write home about" but he also added, "neither was he" and "it didn't matter" but the part that stuck and *stayed* with me was the  I "was nothing to write home about".

That just really hurt.

It just made me feel worthless and unwanted like I have my entire life.

I've never been good enough.

Sometimes you just gotta kill yourself.-Beav