Feet Porkchops.

 My foot pain is so bad now it keeps getting worse and I can't bear weight on it and can hardly walk and when I do I limp along and wince and gasp, Ow! Ouch! F*ck! as I hobble along. Even Ibuprophen doesn't give me any relief even though it's supposed to help both inflammation and pain. The only thing that brings even a bit of temporary relief is laying down and placing a frozen porkchop on my heel until it turns numb and there's no feeling, bringing a bit of relief from the pain but even then it only lasts about 15 minutes or so but it's still better than nothing. Before you gross-out, it's not a piece of meat directly on my bare foot; it's inside a plastic baggie, so it's not like some sort of feet porkchop. I know I should probably go to the hospital but I really don't want to sit all day in the ER waiting, plus, knowing how half-assed they are here in Bumble-F*ck they probably won't even do an X-ray anyway so I'll still be no further ahead anyway. It actually feels like it might be broken, the heel bone, it hurts so much, although I have no idea how, and that time I tripped and fell going up the stairs and landed on that chair around the end of October I landed on the other side,anyway, not on the side with the sore foot.....I still keep hoping and waiting it'll just get better on it's own if I wait long enough...I guess it'll be a battle who wins...what wins out...time or it gets too much to bear and I give in to the pain at last...

  I also often have this sick feeling that Buddy's dying; I hope he's really not, but rather just because he's old( he'll be 13 in February) and he's really aged over the past couple of years, esp. grey on his face and paws. I just hope he outlives me though regardless and that I die before him. He's my best friend and I love him so much I don't even want to live without him. He is my everything in life and my reason to keep going. He's also the only one that loves me so if he dies I'll have nobody and I'll be so lost and all alone. I know if I die he'll be sad,too(in fact, he'll be the only one that will; everyone else will be glad and probably even throw a party and celebrate) but at least he'll still have others that love him, but when he dies I'll have no one to love me anymore.