Yesterday we had it all: snow, then freezing rain, followed by rain. It was also a Weed Day, or, as I like to call it, WEEDnesday. I was also pleasantly surprised to find while I was rummaging around the medicine chest looking for something that I had some left-over weed flower that I didn't know I had ( I usually use the cannabis oil because my family complains about the smell and don't let me smoke inside; I'm banished to the shed) and so it was cause for great celebration and so I grabbed my little friend, pictured here, and went out in the snow to play! I sat out on the porch swing ( I couldn't get to the shed as the door was blocked in with snow and I was too lazy to shovel it) and sat there, with snow falling down heavily all around me, taking bong hits and it was really nice actually, not too cold, only - 1 C and Buddy and I also enjoyed a nice long walk in the snow as well. While I was out there the 17 YR old also locked me outside( yes, on purpose; she's mean like that) and I was frantically banging on the door and Buddy heard and ran over, barking to alert to my distress and I was finally let in.
As well, speaking of the 17 YR old, I also found out she blocked me on social media(even though the kids do incl. my hubby in on their little chate group, etc. just not me; I'm the one left out and excluded like always) and when I asked her about it she haughtily replied, I don't like you and I don't want to associate with you! I wish I never had kids. They break your heart. She's esp. mean though and just like those Mean Girls in school, the bullies in Jr. High that made my life a living hell. She's so snotty and condescending and thinks she's All That and thinks she's so much better than everyone else and looks down on everyone. Of all the kids home now she's the one that gives me the most grief but I only have to hold on for a few more months and then she's gone to school in Vancouver. It almost feels like a prison sentence I'm eagerly waiting to almost end; just a few more months left and I'm free. I can do it.Just hold on a bit longer.This one even goes out of her way to be mean to me; at least the 15 YR old for the most part just ignores me and says the odd mean comment but the 17 YR old's just mean. She's alot like my hubby but I get satisfaction my own way: no one knows it but me but I claim my own little "victories" by wiping my dirty feet on her bathrobe, for instance, or using her body wash, or rubbing meat on her vegan food....I know it's childish and immature but it gives me a sense of ha,ha, you little shit....you won't get away with treating me like that....you have no idea who you're dealing with.....I'm NOT as "powerless" as you think.....
My friend M (in Brazil) also sent me a message saying how much she loves me and values our friendship and how much I've helped and inspired her over the past 9 years and it melted my heart and made me cry. She has no idea how much I really needed to hear that, and I told her so. I had no idea. I've only ever been told how annoying I am; how everyone hates me, how I turn everyone off, drive everyone away, irritate everyone, offend everyone, piss everyone off, etc. I do try to be a good friend and I do have a kind, caring heart but no one's ever told me before that I actually do make a difference, that I helped anyone, that I inspired anyone, that I put a smile on someone's face, that I uplifted someone, gave someone hope, made someone smile, made someone happy,etc. I always thought I was completely useless and worthless. I'm so glad to hear this and it makes me feel good.
Too bad my own family doesn't see it.
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