Darla.

Look what my hubby surprised me with for Valentin'e Day: a Hallmark hippo plush stuffed toy! It's name is Darla, which it already came with so I didn't have to name it on my own, with all my hippos is becoming a challenge trying to come up with new names for them all (just like with all my kids, ha ha) but I probably would have gone with something like Violet or Prima as in Prima Ballerina. I can't believe he found it though; I'd asked him earlier when he was in Toronto to look for it but he said they weren't available here(like alot of things aren't in this country; we always get screwed) so it was a nice surprise! He surprises me at times,too, like with this; usually he's such a colossal asshole yet at times even he can come up with unexpected nice gestures like this.

 I was also watching a TV show and came across something called Polycystic Kidney Disease and oddly it has all the same symptoms I do, that match all my mysterious ailments, incl. decreasing kidney function, blood in urine, back pain, high BP, bad fluid retention, headaches,itchiness, extreme fatigue, brain "fog", cysts on kidneys, etc.... and is also connected to aneurysms, often fatal by age 60 and is genetic and I remember my mother telling me before too that both her aunt and her aunt's daughter died of brain aneurysms in their 50's and 30's so it does  make me wonder.....could that possibly be what's been plaguing me these past couple of years too? If so, my kids also have a 50% chance of inheriting it, unless, of course, my hubby also carries the defective gene as well and then it's a 100% chance..... oh, my God, I hope not......I really never should have had kids. If only I knew then what I know now.

I also ordered this really cool shirt online. It's so perfect for me and my free-spirit Hippie personality. I just love the colours, the bright, loud pattern, the peace symbols and it looks like a sunflower in the middle. It's just my vibe! I'm struggling having issues too with how the Catholic Church is so wealthy and powerful politically when that wasn't Jesus' way at all; He was humble and lived a simple life communally, serving others and living among the poor and needy, plus the church also always insists on Mary's perpetual virginity and that Jesus never had siblings but I find that hard to believe esp. when it even says in the Bible about Jesus brother and sisters are here among us and I always wondered too what exactly  does it mean when they describe the Apostle James as the Apostle whom Jesus loved.....? Does it merely mean that he was His Favourite Apostle, or that he was His best friend, or He loved him like a brother......or could it have possibly meant that they were gay lovers....esp. since Jesus was in his 30's and not married.....highly unusual for a man of his age in that time and culture..... but the church says being gay is a sin....so does the Bible... an abomination  in the eyes of the Lord it says.....it's like pieces of a puzzle that just don't fit.....I pray to God and ask Him to lead me to His  Truth though, and NOT necessarily what the Church says and definitely NOT what the world says, but God's Truth, not what people say.