Not Important.

 I noticed with one of my medications that I only had a mere 4 pills left so I started freaking out I might run out so it was urgent I get a re-fill at the pharmacy so I asked my hubby to get it as he has to be the one to pick it up since it's on his employee insurance which covers 80% and my mother dismissed it saying, It's not important. I couldn't believe that she actually said that; that me running out of medication isn't important. I bet if it had been her insulin pills or something that she only had 4 pills left she would think it was important but since it's just something for me it doesn't matter. This just pretty much sums up what kind of person she is and says it all about her and how she and the rest of my family see me and treat me. She really is a piece of work. Then she even tried to "justify" it by saying If you only had one pill left, then that would be urgent. Shit......really?

  I even literally made the priest cry when I had Confession last week too. He looked sad and I saw him wipe a tear from his eye. I was confessing my lustful thoughts, fantasies,and desires but along with it also in the context that I'm lonely and longing and just want someone to love me and he knows the history of my family's abuse as well and what I have to live with every day and he's sympathetic and validates me, saying I don't "deserve" it and I should try and see myself the way God sees me, loves me and values me. He's so kind and compassionate it's almost like therapy for me. It made me wonder he must hear all kinds of things and just see how truly f*cked-up most people's lives really are and how much most people really struggle and are hurting.

  Buddy also got his birthday gift ( a chew toy) early. He found it in my bag when I came home from shopping. I turned around to shut the door and he was going thru my bags, the cheeky little bugger, just like the kids used to do when they were little, and somehow found it and among all the other items in the bag knew it was his and grabbed it and took off with it and ran off before I could stop him! In any case, happy birthday early, Buddy! I just love that little guy so much. He's so funny and he makes me laugh and smile like no one else. He turns 13 on the 20th and I wish he could live forever but no matter how long he lives it would never be long enough and these past 5 years I've had him he's brought a joy and love into my life I just didn't have and filled an emptiness and a void and I hope and pray that I die before he does because I know I couldn't go on without him.I only wish I'd had him sooner so I'd have him even longer to love. He is my everything. People might say I was fine before he came into my life and I'll be fine after except I wasn't fine. Both the Bible and the Koran say that God doesn't give us more than we can handle and I know I couldn't handle it if I ever lost him. We are so bonded, so connected, if he died it would be like part of me died,too.

  My hubby's brother also came by to pick up something and he saw my Rasta purse and said he had a hoodie just like that....as do I and I showed him and he laughed that's the exact same one he has and we laughed and he said we should both wear them together and be like twins and he also said Bob Marley is his fave. singer,too, just like me, and we both like the same music, Reggae and Rock and hate country; I swear that guy is like my Brother from another mother and I get along well with one his other brothers,too; we share love of travelling and culture in common. It's funny though that I have more in common with 2 of his brothers than I do with him.