ER Visit.

This is how I looked and felt after spending 8 HRS yesterday in the ER. I spent 3 HRS waiting in the waiting room just to be seen, luckily I didn't bleed to death by then but they don't give a shit. My mother insisted I take an ambulance because she's dramatic and over-the-top like that but I told her I am perfectly capable of taking a taxi( as my hubby is still out of town) and it costs alot less. I got an IV set up they never did end up using ( what a waste) blood work(that came back surprisingly normal considering my hemmoraging but the doctor said women have an amazing reserve and are able to lose a substantial amount of blood) internal exam and ultrasound. The entire time my biggest concern though was my very noticable hairy Sasquatch legs and how I kept wishing I had shaved my legs.

In the exam room I kept drifting off but not sure if it was to sleep, into unconsciousness or dying, and the pain was so bad, a 7 out of 10 on the pain scale and all they gave me was a lousy Tylenol which I could have got myself at home. Thanx alot, guys for nothing. I also got medication to lessen the bleeding which basically helps me blood clot better but can also increase change of pulmonary embolism or stroke so there's also that and this morning on the IV site I had this huge hard blood clot when I woke up and then it was gone so I hate to think where it might have dislodged and travelled off to.... I half imagined myself dying there too, all alone in the hospital examining room,dying the same way I lived: all alone, by myself, separate from everyone else.

The scan showed I now also have another cyst on my right ovary, next to the other one so I must be building a collection now and the bleeding is coming from my uterus and there was a disagreement between the tech and the radiologist as well over what they think they saw on the scan:the tech said she thought she saw something being careful not to say exactly what and they were discussing something about "borders" and "walls" and I heard the words "bowel" and "tip of appendix" along with ovary but the doctor said she just "thinks it's a shadow and nothing to worry about...." and the doctor asked when I last had sex and when I said 12 years looked at me incredulusly as if I was lying and they sent me home with the blood-clotting pills and the 24 YR old, bless his heart, was nice enough to go to the pharmacy and pick them up for me.He's always been one of my favourites and he still is.

Buddy really missed me too he ran over to me and just leaped into my arms and melted into me and wouldn't leave; he snuggled in so deep and so tight, making the saddest, most pathetic little noises ever, sort of like a crying wail and his little tail never stopped wagging, and this morning I was woken up at 4 am as well by a searing white-hot pain from deep within me, from the centre of me and I'm still all sweaty, nauseated and have pain on my right side and thru my entire abdomen. This is not over. I'm sure they missed something. My guess is possibly appendix?

There's also this pretty Kylie Jenner look-alike teen girl next door with long shiny black hair and big dark doe-eyes that every morning around 7 am when I'm out walking Buddy and she's leaving for school always greets me and it surprises me as people like that never even acknowledge people like me, let alone speak to them, and it makes me feel like maybe I've "moved up" a "notch" socially or something, or maybe she can't "tell" what I really am?