St. Paddy's Day.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

So I tried to order my monthly weed from a new supplier, now it's legal in the entire country there's more choice and I'm not limited to my one medical supplier anymore which has a small limited quantity and is often sold out. So, I found these 2 other places that looked good and had many good options( incl. yummy edibles!) and chose my selections and placed my order....and just as when i thought it should get to the point where I enter my credit card info it said my order was completed, and so I'm sitting here wondering, Well, that's strange....what about payment? and then this thing pops up saying to sent payment by some Interac eTransfer method.......

Say what?

What the f*ck is that,anyway?

I've never even heard of such a thing, so then the panic starts in.....Oh, my God! What now?

So the 24 YR old tried the best he could to try to explain it to me but it's waaaay above my head. I don't even have Interac and don't even do online banking; I do everything by credit card. All that kind of stuff is just waaaaay too complicated for me.

Forget it.

So I end up frantically emailing them explaining and they reply that's their only payment, along with a video explaining how it works(which is no help for a dolt like me) but it turns out the order just got cancelled so I tried the other place but took so long to decide which edibles I wanted( they all looked so good, esp. the chocolates, and they even had pumpkin spice truffles,too!) it timed out on me so I had to re-start all over again and then after all that once I placed my order the same thing happened again: at the end of the order they said it.....you guessed it.....it was only payable by Interac eTransfer.

F*CK.

In the end I ended up just ordering from my usual place and the ones I wanted were out of stock(doesn't it figure) so I had to settle for something else.The story of my LIFE. The entire ordering process took me a whole hour.

But, I DID get a ticket to the upcoming KISS concert in August in Toronto like I so desperately wanted! For once something actually worked out for me! They had been too expensive but I kept praying and asking God for a way I could go and I had this "prompting" to go back and check their official site and they had a ticket what was resale, verified, for a cheaper price, and more reasonable, and I got it! Not without trouble, of course( because that's how my life goes) they only did it but sending a verification code and sending the tickets by cell phone(which I don't have) so I had to use my hubby's but then he wrote the number down wrong and it was rejected so I panicked and he yelled at me and I had to re-do it again and I was on a time limit here as the ticket would go quickly and I was freaking out but I got it!

I also asked the 24 YR old if he'd watch Buddy for me when I'm in Jamaica next month as he's the only one I trust enough to and he said he would and I told him I'd bring him back something in appreciation and he joked How about a kilo of weed or a steel-drum band? and I told him, I was thinking something more along the lines of a T-shirt or a knick-knack.... when I'd mentioned I hope I find happiness and love some day; that it's my dream he said as well that no one will love me unless I love myself  but being nothing but unloved, rejected, abused, and bullied my entire life (as well as looking the way I do) there's no way that's ever going to happen, and how can I possibly love myself when my entire life no one else sees anything worth loving and has told me I'm NOT lovable?

One of my cousins also took his wife to Paris for her birthday( they already live in Europe, but still) and I'm lucky if I even get a card, and there will always be a part of me too no one will ever be able to access except me, a private, secret, hidden place in my head that no one else will ever see.