The Wrap.

My weekly treat for ages has been this delish turkey wrap with havarti cheese, cranberries, almonds, lettuce and this really tasty sauce but this week when I got it I was in for a shocking and not-so-nice surprise: the nasty f*ckers went and had the nerve to change it!..... and not for the better,either! It was perfectly fine before and now they went and ruined it! Now instead of slices of turkey and cheese they made it into this textured pasty mush with dark meat in it and shredded, grated cheese with some cranberries squished in and no wonderful sauce, and I was just horrified! It tasted like shit and I hated the texture, reminding me of a tuna sandwich! Yeeeccch! It was just so gross! WTF, man? Why did they have to go and do something like that,anyway? Why not just leave well enough alone? Why do they always have to go and change everything all the time? The 24 YR old said the texture thing is an autism thing (and so is not liking or adapting well to change) which I suppose it is, and my mother's the same way(and I have to had gotten my Asperger's from somewhere...), such as not wearing anything wool and not liking anything oily, greasy, or sticky on her skin, which is why she never wears any suntan oil or body lotions(I, however, have no problem with this). Needless to say though, this really pissed me off and ruined my day.

My hubby also made this really gross "food" that was floating in oil and flour (ewwww!) the 11 YR old dubbed sludge (which is the perfect name for it actually) and I generally refer to as slop or swill and it was so nasty that not even the dog would eat it; he sniffed it, stuck his nose up in the air and walked away, disgusted, and he licks his ass and his balls but even he wouldn't touch this, ha,ha.My hubby also said he's away in Toronto for work for 2 weeks this month,too, giving me a much-needed break away from him too, not here, so much less stress, tension, strife, etc. and I have more pain now on the left side of my face on the middle-lower part but I can't tell if it's from my ear(an infection following my cold perhaps?) or my jaw as it's right in the middle; in-between where the ear ends and the jaw begins....

My kids also think I'm horrible for admitting openly and frankly that I never should have had kids but I don't mean them personally, as individuals; I just mean in general; if I knew then what I know now, about the genetic issues that I'd pass on to them, that I'd fail so miserbaly at parenthood, that I'd struggle so much, that they'd end up so broken and damaged,that I would have to watch them hurting so much, that it would bring me so much trauma and PTSD, that I'd endure more anxiety, worry, fear and stress than I ever thought possible, that they'd end up hating me so much, that they'd bully me like they do, etc..... I never would have done it.Nothing is worth what I went thru and if I knew before what it would be like, what it would really be like,and that I'd only get all the pain and hardships out of it and none of the rewards or joy I would have changed my mind. If only I knew. It would have saved both them and myself so much grief, suffering, hurt, and pain.