Yet Another Trip To The ER.

Yet another trip to the ER. This time for my mother. I swear, our family goes there so often we should be getting Airmiles or a trophy for Best Customer or a family discount or something. This time it was for her constant daily and worsening pain, mainly in her hip and lower back. She can hardly walk so she went to get something for the pain but with the opioid epidemic they don't give anyone anything for pain anymore. All she got was an anti-inflamatory. She had to wait 4 HRS, the usual, and her doctor did a manual exam by feeling around the sore spot, and, I presume, checking for lumps, but they never even did any bloodwork or any scans, not even an X-ray. He thinks it's Fascitis, the same thing I have with my left foot since November; inflammation of the muscle and connective tissue. The doctor was a handsome Middle Eastern guy too, tall, dark,and handsome; exactly my type, oh, my God, he could put his hands all over me...... I'm surprised at her age( turns 78 next month) that cancer isn't the first thing they'd suspect and look for..... today one of my cousins in Europe also has her colonoscopy. Been there, done that. So gross but at least you're asleep so you don't remember anything.

The 12 YR old also had the Spelling Bee finals on the weekend ( he came in Tenth place out of 30, and only due to a silly error) and how ironic is this: they spelled his name wrong!  I also tried to bond and connect with him more( as he's always been one I've never really been able to get that close to and it's always been distant) by playfully tousling his hair on the way by as he sat in the kitchen but it backfired badly on me and he was furious; he got really mad and went into a fit of rage and was yelling and throwing everything he could find at both Buddy and I, incl. something hard that hit me hard in the head and bounced off......I was just davastated and hurt. Everything I do and no matter how hard I try is always a failure and I always end up rejected, hurt, taken the wrong way and fail. Why do I even bother? It just makes me want to withdraw and turn inward towards myself and away from others even more.

I also called-out the almost- 18 YR old for name-calling and being mean( she went up to Buddy and called him ugly for no reason at all; it was just mean and uncalled-for) and she snorted, You raised me! and I told her, I didn't raise you to be mean! and then she goes on a rant saying that I'M a "bitch" etc. and she learned it from me, etc... She really does have attitude and she's always been mean and if she went to Public school I have no doubt in my mind that she'd be a mean Girl and a bully, exactly the same kind that made my life hell in Jr. High. I have ZERO TOLERANCE  for bullies and people that call others ugly because of what I went thru; I'm extra "sensitive" to things like that because I know what it feels like and how much it scarred me.

The 20 YR old also started her new job yesterday and had a good day and likes it, and I finally got the app't with the Gyno; the office called yesterday and I see her tomorrow! So quick, my guess is they must have had a cancellation as you never get booked that fast; usually at least 1-2 weeks, often a month later, but not in just 2 days. I'm glad the doctor is female though; I find usually female doctors are kind of bitchy( except for the gastro doc; I liked her) but for Gyno I prefer it; it's not quite as awkward as a male one, unless you get a creepy old dyke, like I had before....she would just sit there leering at me laying there on the exam table with my legs spread wide open, and yank off the privacy sheet and just leer and grin this creepy grin, and she never used gloves for exams,either! Ewwww!