The Sting.

I got stung by a damn wasp the other day. I was just sitting out in the yard minding my own business when I felt a sharp stinging pain in my upper arm so I bolted upright and took a look and saw the wasp hanging there, like some sort of pinata, stinger stuck, so I flicked it off but the stinger remained embedded in there and it took until the next day to get it out it was in so deep. I have an allergy to wasps and this one got really bad, my entire arm all swelled up. First of all the bump grew bigger and bigger, the size of a softball and then the swelling just grew and grew and it spiralled and curled all around my arm like a snake, working it's way all around, from the top upper arm under one of my Bingo Wings all the way down to my wrist. It was ghastly. My whole arms blew up like an inflated balloon, plus it's hot, red, hard and itchy,too. I had to take Benadryl every 6 hours for 2 days to try and keep ahead of it. My hubby and the 24 YR old said I should have gone to the ER but a swollen arm won't be considered a priority and I'm not going to sit there and wait for 6 HRS and all they'd say is take Benadryl anyway which is what I'm already doing, and if worse comes to worse someone can just stick me with one of the 18 YR old's Epi-Pen's she has for her nut allergy. When I die and go to Heaven one of the first things I'm going to ask God is, Why did you ever make wasps? What were you thinking?

Also, one of my "brilliant" genius offspring put a fork in the microwave last night and it blew up. It literally blew up. Boom, smoke, fire. What a dingus. I wasn't there at the time to see; I was up in bed asleep, I just heard about it after. First of all I got up this morning and noticed the microwave was missing; there was this big bare spot on the kitchen counter and at first I thought someone had actually stolen it. I'm like, WTF? Where's the microwave? I mean, who does something like that? Even as forgetful and loopy as I am even I've never put a fork in a microwave! For f*ck's sake. Now we have to go out and get a new one, also with $$$$ we don't have. Just great.