Off The Rails.

So my hubby still hasn't done anything with the balcony yet, still without a railing. I was leaning towards wrought iron, so regal and classy and estate-looking and you don't need to paint it, stain it, or weather-proof it and it lasts forver. There's this place just outside of town actually that does it so we looked into it, but oh, my God, we got an estimate and it would cost a whopping 5500$! No joke! Just to do the railing on the balcony on the second floor! We couldn't believe it! For obvious reasons that's out of the question so I had to look for other options so I went to RONA and I really like the wood railings seen above, with their fancy carved design (I like the artistic creative stuff, not the plain old boring stuff and most of the plain wood railing reminded me of a baby's crib bars) and they only cost 3$ each, which seems reasonable enough and so I got all excited as that seems reasonable enough.....until my hubby told me that we'll need around 90 of them.....making the cost add up to something like over 300$, still expensive, although much better than the iron.....

He told me to keep looking.

So then I found this.

This is a combination of both iron bars and wood and it has definition and style and it doesn't look like a crib. The price is less than the wooden ones I was looking at before and they're even so sale for 20$ off each one but of course they're all sold out here and you have to go all the way to their Toronto location ( a 2 HR drive each way) to get them at that price. So, it still remains undone and probably will be for months even though he should get it done before winter, and besides, where is he going to put up the Christmas lights with no balcony railing?

The 18 YR old doesn't like Vancouver either and is disappointed. It wasn't like she was hoping for or expecting. She thinks it's dirty, skuzzy and ghetto. That's too bad but I'm not surprised and that's what I was worried of knowing it has the highest crime rate in the country. I just hope that she does at least enjoy her course and does well and enjoys that, and I've lost so much weight lately too I can tell my arms and legs are much thinner now and my back fat is gone and for the past few days I've been so hungry my stomach even hurts and I don't know if it's due to some medical issue or I'm not getting enough food as we always run short/ out of food and I'm not getting enough to eat, or perhaps a combination, and my mother goes to the orthopedic clinic at the hospital this week too (that was fat! Usually it takes months to get in to see a specialist!) and I know what they're probably going to say: that her pain is just wear and tear of being old; that her bone has all just worn away from her knee and hip socket and she needs a knee and/or hip replacement but the problem is that she won't; she's stubborn and scared and refuses surgery of any kind as she's never had a General anesthesia before ( can you believe that? She's 78 years old! I've had it like 5 times so far in my life, and again in November with my upcoming surgery) and she's afraid she's not going to wake up. Yet if that's the issue without it the pain won't ever get better...so there you go....

It's been a really hard week for me, and also emotionally exhausting between my mother, worry about Buddy and my own mammogram results and plus taking on the added chores at home. It's just overwhelming and I'm having a hard time dealing with my mother's sudden decline and helplessness too; it's hard for me to accept and for me to watch and to see, it's appalling how she reeks of piss and won't do anything for herself and acts like an infant, I just can't deal with this; it's all just too much.....the good news though is my weed did finally come later Friday so that's some solace at least....and I still have Buddy with me.