Road To Recovery.

I am on the road to recovery since my surgery 2 days ago and now I can actually feel a "shift", a 'turn" in the road so to speak, sort of like a little 'spark" has started to emerge out of the darkness, like a butterfly starting to emerge out of it's cocoon.Today I did my first shit, which is a great accomplishment following abdomenal surgery, and I felt joyous and my success, like running up and down the street doing back-flips(not that I actually could, although back when I was younger and did gymnastics for 16 years I was able to, but not now I'm old and esp. not now I've just been carved open like a Thanksgiving turkey and had body parts removed) Yesterday I had to take the Tylenol every 4 hours for the pain(which felt oddly like the  sharp After Pains you get following childbirth(and are worse with each subsequent child,and while nursing, and believe me, after 11 it got pretty bad, and feels like labour pain, which is kind of ironic considering I no longer have a uterus, reminding me of phantom pain amputees experience with missing limbs) as well as smoking my cure-all Magic herb(which, unlike the Tylenol that takes 30-60 minutes to start working, works right away when you smoke it) which also helped my sore throat(from the breathing tube during surgery for anesthesia) and hoarse voice; somehow the warm smoke must have cured it because right after the sore throat and the hoarseness was gone, just like that, a blessed bonus. I also was able to sleep better last night too(I intended to go up to my own bed and the mind was convinced but the body not so much, saying No way,girl, I can't make it up 3 flights of stairs yet, no way,man, you're going to kill me..... and I took my last Tylenol at 9 pm last night and I went right thru until 5 am whereas the other night I was woken up during the night and had to take it, so that's progress! My devoted Buddy never left my side all night again,either,and unlike up in my bedroom where the door's closed all night and he can't leave he has free reign here yet he never left my side and he could have gone anywhere all over the house during the night if he'd wanted but he stayed devoted by my side all night.

I still have to also take Buddy out as he won't let anyone else do it; he won't go for a walk with anyone else; just me, like it's our own private, personal time, something only we share together and he's not willing to let anyone else take over, which, of course, I admire his loyalty and devotion but it makes it hard on me just after surgery having to take him out, but when the 25 YR old tried to put the collar and leash on him and  pick him up he snapped at him and tried to bite him( which surprised me as he likes  the 25 YR old; he's his second-fave. person, after me and the one I would entrust to look after him if I die) and even when my hubby tried I had to put the leash on  him and then when he tried to drag him away he fought like crazy, like those wild rabid dogs you see on TV being captured by the dog-catchers; he was shaking his head visciously back and forth, baring his teeth, growling and snarling, trying to break free(it shocked me; I've never seen him like that before; it was like he was an entirely different dog!), and I know what it was: he was laying there beside me and he tried to remove him. He refused to be be taken away, not wanting to be separated from me.He wouldn't leave my side. Devoted and loyal as always and I love him for it.....but I had to take him out(he told me he really had to shit.....which he did, as he hadn't gone at all the day before,poor thing he held iit in all day) and even if it kills me I'm going to have to take him out  because he had to go somehow and if that's the only way he'll go....that's what love is. For the most part I just open the back door and let him run out in the fenced yard but for some reason he only pees out there and won't shit; he has to go out the front for a walk to shit so there's that. 

I also had my first bath since my surgery and it just felt soooo good. I had to wait a couple of days and I felt so unclean and it just felt so good to soak and to wash my hair and get clean and to soak my sore achy muscles, you have no idea how good  that felt. I don't know what felt better and gave me more relief: the shit or the bath. It's funny all these small, ordinary, normal, everyday things we just do all the time and take for granted but when we're sick or infirm we can't do all of a sudden and how hard it is and we miss, even just small things like bending down to try and put your socks on or turn over in bed,etc.Bending and standing up straight are the worst.Ugh, but I know from past experience that it slowly gets better each day, bit by bit, baby steps. When my hubby got back from Toronto yesterday he never even checked in on me or asked how I was, either which hurt, but like I said before: no one gives a shit. Then they wonder why I think they suck. Hmmmmmm, really?