Sunday, December 8, 2019

The Restaurant.


Yesterday my hubby and I went out to the nice Indian place and had our early anniversary dinner, or rather, lunch, because he doesn't have any time in the evening this week to go and they're closed Mondays when the actual date is. So we went but the either owner or manager or whoever he was said the Tandoor oven hadn't been fired up yet for our Tandoori chicken and it would take something like 3-4 hours until it would be ready except we didn't have that much time as he had to get back for his Dungeons & Dragons game as he's always pressed and restricted for time, but the guy said he could still cook us chicken breast that would still taste the same, like Tandoori chicken......except that it didn't; it was just a dried up, leathery chicken breast that had no flavour and just tasted like plain 'ol broiled chicken. What a disappointment and the story of my life. I always look forward to things and end up disappointed and let down. We also had samosa, Malligatawny soup and raita. and I ordered a mango lassi which is basically an Indian mango smoothie. The chicken was so dried out and hard this time when we brought the Doggy Bag back home we actually did give it to the dog instead of giving the left-overs to the kids or eating it later for a meal ourselves.....but even the dog didn't eat it so that tells you something since he, you know, licks his ass and balls, which, apparantly, must taste better...

I also quickly went to the mall after and I noticed how I was really dizzy, sweaty and felt faint (like I often do) but also I kept tilting to the left side, my left hand was twitching and I had blurry vision. I know something's definitely going on here, but what? I again Googled my increasing perplexing symptoms and other possible causes I got were MS and LBD, which cause ataxia and it continues on and makes me wonder: what is it that's causing this? All I know is I keep deteriorating and my motor function and muscles, liver and kidneys keep getting worse and worswe yet no one seems to know why or what's causing it but I continue to decline and develop more symptoms...


This is also the Bob Marley lava lamp I got for my birthday gift from my hubby. I first saw it when I was in Jamaica and liked it but didn't want to risk if I could get it safely home in one piece; it's made of glass and the airlines aren't ecatly known for being genteel with baggage so I didn't want to chance it and I looked all over here and they have lava lamps byt not this one so I go online and Amazon and the Rasta places I go to did have it but it's out of stock and eBay has some but I don't trust them; who's to say I won't get ripped-ff; that I send them the $$$ and I never get my order, but I did find one last place that had them, at twice the price mind you, but they were the only one that carries it, so what can you do...we all have to pay for the important things in life. Back to the store: I also bought a new- shhhhh- vibrator( a really BIG one,too!) when I was there( in my ardentness it broke, all the rubber "skin" tore off it; I'm an animal....what can I say, ha, ha) and the lady at the cash says very loudly, much to my embarrassment.This take double-A batteries. Do you want to purchase some? and I just cringe and whisper, croaking softy, No, thanks, I already have some at home. I'm also glad when I emerged from the store carrying the bag my hubby(or anyone else) didn't ask what I bought. Whew! and I was able to successfully smuggle it up into my bedroom without any drama.

The other day I was in the bathroom as well and the 16 YR old walks by and scoffs, What's the horrible smell? I can't even go in that bathroom anymore! and my hubby cruelly goes, It's probably YOUR MOTHER!! which just broke my heart and crushed me. I know my pee smells really bad, strong and like cat piss with my failing kidneys and it's embarrassing but I can't help  it and it's not nice to shame and ridicule me for it. They're just bullies and I've had enough of being shamed, bullied, made fun of, laughed at, mocked, and the butt of jokes for my entire life for being different, for being disabled, for having difficulties, for not being like other people, for thinking outside the box, for doing my own thing and going my own way, for not following the crowd, for thinking for myself, for being :weird", for not "fitting in", etc. and now even my own family picks on and insults me too, which is even worse. I wish I could just be free and now I just live on memories and go into my head to a place where I was happy. My mother also always runs over people's feet(or the dog) with her walker too; she's a menace and thinks everyone should get out of her way ,not that she also has to watch out to see no one's in the way and last night she somehow(I'm still not sure how) she ran over her OWN foot! I just laughed, thanked the universe for KARMA.

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