Lonely Boy.

I saw this photo the other day and it reminded me of the 25 YR old. He seems so alone. I worry about him. I really do. He recently had a major blow( and for privacy reasons I'm not going to get into it here; it's his story to tell, not mine) that has to be really hard on him ( and I can tell it is) and the thing is that he keeps it all inside; he's always been so insular and he never says what's going on in his head but I can tell from the outside that he's struggling, that he's hurting, from sleep disturbances, insomnia, to forgetfulness, to just withdrawing, to being so insulated, to thinking he doesn't need anyone but himself, to not really talking about things, not opening up to anyone, not really having any close friends to confide in, to just staying up in his room for the most part on the computer, to not really having any goals in life, it really concerns me he's stuck in a major depression but he either doersn't even realize it or he just won't reach out for help or he just doesn't know how and I'm scared to say I also see signs of mental illness there too and I know he needs help but I'm not sure how to appraoch it, what to say, how to help him, how to reach out; I don't want to upset him even more, or have him think it's just more of my crazy ramblings, or push him even more away or isoltate him further but it really concerns me and I'm really worried about him and how much he isolates himself and all of the outwards signs I see that indicate a much bigger problem.

 He's always been one of my faves. and it just breaks my heart to see him struggling like this and not know what to do and how to help him. I also can't help but think about the money that went missing awhile back and I'm pretty sure my cannabis oil is disappearing alot faster than  what I rationed it for; it should have lasted longer as if someone's been using it other than me and I can't help but wonder if there's some connection( as awful as that sounds) but if he is struggling with say, schizophrenia or some other mental illness or a drug addiction, for example, it would all make sense, and could that maybe be what the warning impressed upon my heart awhile ago be  telling me to watch out and be careful; something's coming?Is he, perhaps, going to have a crisis of some sort?. I'm just so worried and I don't want anything to happen to him and it hurts me to watch him like this and if anything happened to him it would just break my heart but at the same time he's an adult now so it's limited what I can do now and how much intervention I have over him at this point. It's too bad he doesn't read this and see my concern but they don't even know I have this blog; it's a secret. All I can do is let him know that I'm here for him if he needs to talk and hope and pray that he sees something's not right and gets help on his own accord and knows that no matter what I'm always here to support him.

As well, my friend A ( from Ottawa) and his family got back from Taiwan early; last night, instead of staying a few weeks like originally planned; this was just 1-2 weeks or so and my guess is due to the Coronavirus; either worried they'd catch it being Taiwan is so close to China, or else worried they'd close off all flights from Asia and they'd be stuck there and he wouldn't be able to get back home for work. I think it's unnecssary though how they're panicking people though over this needlessly as it never does any good public panic, and it'll be like the SARS outbreak in the early 2000's (I remember when I gave birth to the 16 YR old I had to do it alone; they wouldn't even let fathers in the delivery room; it was insane!) where people wouldn't even go into Chinese restaurants for fear of catching it and it's so stupid and reminds me of back in the 80's people thought you could catch AIDS from sitting on a toilet seat and I even remember my friend R even brought toilet seat covers with her to every public bathroom! It was crazy. People are stupid. Don't they know that a little proper hand washing and hand sanitation go a long way?