Yesterday.

This was dinner yesterday, Pesto Chicken with pasta and peas( YUM!) and I also had the most delectable thing ever too; at the store it was calling me from across the aisle, calling my name, practically scratching at the clear glass of the freezer door for me to come and rescue it and toss it into my buggy and I'm so glad I did: chocolate-coated chocolate cheesecake bites!OMG, it was just the best thing ever!  The rest of the day wasn't so good, however and even started off bad: first thing in the morning I opended up the fridge door and the container of blueberries fell out and opened and all the blueberries all fell out and rolled out onto the kitchen floor in all different directions.

Hundreds of them.

Then the car battery also died( but at least it wasn't on the way to the airport in 3 days when the 16 YR old leaves for Vancouver!!) and in the morning when I took Buddy out for his early morning walk I noticed the trunk was open too, left open all night and at first I thought someone must have broken in( but it turned out someone just forgot to shut it last night but luckily nothing was stolen and there was only a pair of speakers in there anyway) and it had snowed too and there was a bunch of snow in there, and then at the store I was in the longest , slowest line ever and I thought I was going to faint and the woman ahead of me had, I swear to God, over 50 tins of cat food and 5 jumbo jugs of cat litter among other things(I just wanted to throttle her) and the cashier was slower than Jesus' Second Coming.....holy shit.... and then all last night my Hot Flashes kept me up most of the night and were so bad I even had to open up my bedroom window and stick my head out for cool relief at mind-numbing - 23 C cold. The "joys" of menopause. It was so cold yesterday too it was even too cold to smoke weed! (my family makes me go outside to smoke.)

This is the 16 YR old's home-made Cosplay for her upcoming Anime convention, and the other day one of the kids also turned 22 ( the same age I was when I had my first baby!) and now I also have a cold on top of the virus I've still been battling for the past 3 weeks and now the swelling on Buddy's groin has turned a deep purple bruising as well, consistant with an injury and now I think I might have finally figured out how he might have gotten it: there's a box of books beside my bed and maybe when he jumped down off my bed at night in the dark he accidently hit himself on the side or corner of it and got hurt? Just in case I'll move it out of the way from now on. I also realized too that my entire life I've always had these "Escape fantasies" where I can just leave and move somewhere new and start over again and start a new life and be someone else, and my life HAS required me to do just that a few times actually, but the truth is it doesn't actually work  though and it's not really an "escape" because the same old shit still follows you no matter where you go and you still can't escape your past( it eventually catches up with you) and you can't get "away" from yourself no matter how hard you try, and believe me, I've tried. I've always wanted to be someone else, anyone else other than me, with someone else's life.