A Really Bad Day.

Yesterday was a bad day, a really  bad day. I usually have everything go wrong anyway but this was even worse than usual. When I first got up and opened up the fridge the container of strawberries fell out and opened up and they all fell out onto the floor, and I also put my underwear on inside-out, then I stepped into a big puddle of water in the kitchen floor from our leaking roof and got a "soaker" on my sock which is really creepy and I hate, and then I was cooking food on the stove element and my hubby distracted me away from it and then I totally forgot it was there until my mother mentioned she could smell something burning (I never even smelled a thing and usually my nose is good; it's my eyesight and hearing that's not so good) and then I was like, Oh, f*ck! I have something on the STOVE!  and I raced in, to see it all boiling and over-flowing onto the stove, smoke all in the kitchen, lucky it hadn't caught fire yet, and I measured and of the original 4 cups of water/milk mix I had on there only less than a cup remained, and it was all over the entire surface of the stove and dripping down the edges....my mind is just gone, with my white matter decline (MRI showed years ago) it's like I have Alzheimer's brain, even though that is actually grey-matter decline but the effects are similar.

But that wasn't it; it wasn't over yet: I had to do a "practice-run" of my video tele-conference call with the doc to re-new my medical marijuana license I usually go to their office and they already have done but due to everything being shut down with the pandemic I have to do from a computer here at home and of course I don't know anything about any of that stuff and even though my hubby does (that's what he does  for a living so he's an expert at it, and he looks down on those of us who don't understand it) he hates having to 'waste" his time having to condescend to help idiots like me that aren't 'worth" his effort and time and I tried to log-in with my password but of course it didn't work, just like nothing ever works for me or ever goes right so they sent instructions on how to re-set it, so I tried.....yup, you guessd it, it still never worked, and I kept re-rtying, and I did everything exactly like instructed( despite my huibby insisting I must have done something wrong) things just don't work  for me; I have the worst luck ever; it's like I'm cursed or something, and you know how everyone knows that one person in their life where everything always goes wrong for them and they just seem to be a "jinx?" Well, that's me; I'm the jinx....

... and he was getting frustrated and mad at me and yelling at me( the kids say he's the same way with them too trying to teach them math and they don't get it; he's like This is so easy( yeah, maybe for HIM) why don't you get it? and he has no tolerance for people that are dumb or don't understand things easily like he does) and it took multiple tries and the poor girl had to keep calling me back on the phone as we tried to work it out and then the phone hung-up and I was freaking-out and my hubby said Just tell her it's "disabled....." and I'm like, What? It's what? I don't know if it's "disabled" or what; I just know it's NOT WORKING!  and I just gave up and  handed it over to him to figure out and eventually he got it working...until there was no AUDIO so then he gave up and had the 13 YR old take over and he was finally able to fix it. I always feel self-conscious for those video-chat things too because they see my big ugly mug, up close, and larger-than-life and I'm always so embarrassed because how ugly I am and I just know  the person on the other end must be thinking Oh, my God! That's a woman?  It looks like a man! Must be a trans or a dyke! Neither of which is actually true, proof you can't always tell by looking, and in my case, I'm just a victim of  being unfortunate-looking and inheriting bad genes.

But, oh, no, the Bad Day still didn't end there; oh, no; there was more: I went to Wal-Mart  for some food ( and it was more crowded than last time , but no matter, and if anyone was too close nevermind that Social Distancing thing; I just go barrelling down the aisle, nothing is going to stop me from getting my food, ha,ha; get out of the way, sucker, here I come!) when I entered the store I saw a guy who I thought  was an employee wiping down the handle-bars of a shopping cart for customers as he had the cart there and pulled out a sanitary wipe so I stood there with the cart and waited, starting to say, Are you going to wipe it down for me, or..... and nothing; he just stood there, so I was like, OK, I'll do it myself..... and wiped it off ,grabbed it and took off.......and then he just stood there blankly and goes, Uhhhh. I guess I'll just GO AND GET ANOTHER CART THEN!!!!  LOUDLY AND THEN I REALIZED, MUCH TO MY HORROR, THAT IT WAS HIS CART I took my mistake and I was mortified took off out of there as fast as I could, embarrassed and too ashamed to face him! I was soooo horrified and felt soooo bad and it still plays over in my mind how incredibly rude I was( yet I honestly had no idea; it must have been another of my Asperger's things, mis-reading social clues and the like) and it still bothers me today.

So THAT was my bad day.

The 16 YR old also had a bad experience at work yesterday,too (I guess it was just a bad day in general?) She was going up into the entrance to the grocery store where she works and there was a line-up to get in, guarded by a policeman, to ensure only a few people are allowed in a time, sort of like a bouncer at a club, and there was a big line but she has to be there at a certain time for her shift and didn't have time to wait in line, and besides, that's for the customers, not the employees, so she walks up to the front of the line and shows the cop her employee ID and he lets her in....and then this bitch woman in line steps out and confront her How come YOU cut in line and go in ahead of the rest of us? etc... really loud and even called her a bitch! even though she explained to her that she works there! What a piece of work! It's a good thing that I wasn't there, treating her like that or I would have really let her have it, believe me!! I also got a "revelation" of sorts that the reason I haven't yet received answers to some of my questions; that it remains hidden from me, is that I'm not able to handle it( or at least not yet; that it's not the time) as God only gives you what He knows you can handle ( He must think I'm a real Bad-ass then all the shit I've had to endure!) that certain truths and events haven't been revealed to me yet because it's not the right time, and I totally get that, like, for example, I know I couldn't handle it if Buddy died before I do. That would just utterly destroy me, be the Last Straw to push me completely over the edge and be the end of me.