Headphones.

I decided what I wanted( and really need!) for my upcoming Mother's Day gift is a decent pair of headphones for my music as the old ones ( my hubby's old Star Wars ones) aren't working so well anymore; the ear padding keeps coming off and even worse is the connection is always so loose and doesn't plug in tight anymore and you can't hear the music right or clearly and it always makes weird background noise like hissing or echo or other weird annoying noises and I literally have to keep turning, twisting and re-adjusting the cord every few seconds and it's annoying as f*ck.  I'v always loved  the rose gold colour like the photo pictured here so told my hubby to get me a pair like this. I'd like  the Apple  one as I know it would be a better quality but at something like 300$-plus I know that's  not going to be happening any time soon( or ever!!) but as long as I get a decent pair and it's this pretty colour I LOVE ( imagine having a car in rose gold? Oh, wouldn't that just be incredibly amazing and  it would also be really easy to find in the parking lot,too!!) I'll be happy and it'll be good enough and suit my needs......and yet once again I have to settle in life. The very thing I just promised myself I would never do again but I knew I would because I can't afford otherwise.

Funny,too: we're trapping mice in the kitchen and yesterday the 16 YR old shrieked and screamed bloody murder, There's a MOUSE in the sink!! and comes running out like a bat out of hell and I was cracking up laughing my ass off, I mean, it's only a mouse, afterall( and they're more afraid of us than we are of them, and think how giant we must seem to them; no wonder they only come out at night.....well, generally...)and I pick them up by the tails with my bare hands and just toss 'em outside remember.....so I go in to check and it was just a dead one, caught in a trap and in it's final struggle must have fallen into the sink. After all that it wasn't even alive!  I also heard the saddest thing ever as well: sitting at my computer in the room right next to the kitchen I actually heard a trap go off and snap and a mouse get caught and the pitiful squeaks in pain and the loud thrashing around as it tried to free itself which kept going on and didn't mercifully end quickly so I figured it must have just trapped it's leg or something so I went in to check it out and it was,  the poor little thing, with it's eyes all popped out, bug-eyed and terrified, so I released the trap and just set it free out in the yard. It was just heart-breaking yet at the same time we also don't want mice in the house and in the cupboards eating thru our cereal and oatmeal or running along our kitchen counter-tops, etc as they are filthy and vectors for disease.....one of the hazards of living out in the country....ugh....rural life...

The 13 YR old also scoffed that I'm NOT a real  parent because I don't do anything anymore, forgetting that before, when both my mother and hubby worked full-time that I  was the one that did it all, everything, all on my own  for some 25 YRS, all childcare, homeschooling, cooking and housework; it was like I was some kind of SuperMom or something and people even told me they didn't know how I did  it ( and at one time I even had 5 under under age 5, incl. 4 in diapers!) and yet I did,  and I succeeded and I did  a good job.....yet apparantly all that means nothing now (even though my $$$$ does  still now pay the bills; gas, hydro,water,etc.) so I guess I'm NOT "allowed" to GET old, broken-down, or have medical issues then, slow down and "retire?"( for the best word)I guess not...No wonder I like to go in to my own  Little World so much; they know me there, it's safe, and nice, and they 're kind to me there. The kids call me Boomer as well but in actual-factual fact  I was born in the late 60's so that would make me Boomer JR.  as the original real Baby Boomers  were born during war-time, like my parents were, so there!

I also think that there's something "special" about the taste of Easter chocolate unlike other chocolate, and when the 16 YR old found out that I also eat the Cadbury Easter Creme Eggs  the same way she does by biting off the top and scooping the ooey-gooey insides out with a small spoon( as opposed to just biting into it like a savage) she was horrified and said now she has to change the way she eats it and she's always like that; if she find out I like a song or something, for example, she likes, she says she can "no longer like it", as if I have "cooties" or something and somehow "contaminated" it. She's just always so contrary and oppositional. I have no idea what made her like this( maybe just being an angsty teen?) but I hope that deep in her heart that she does still know and remember how much I love her and always will and can hold on to the memories of when she was younger and we used to be close and know that if only she'd still let  me that I'd still give her the biggest hugs in the world now,too, and if only she knew how badly I want to).

 With the Coronavirus pandemic hysteria and panic my mother's so scared too she's even afraid to go outside at all, not even to sit on the front veranda, and I still sit out in the backyard and take Buddy for his walks; nothing's going to stop me from enjoying outside( my fave. place to BE!) and the sun, no matter what( well, except for maybe rain...that, and a tornado) and I'm not wearing a mask,either, unless I'm actually infected, as it doesn't prevent you from getting  it ( since it's NOT airborn, but spread thru hard surfaces) but rather to protect others  from your contagious nose and mouth droplets (if YOU cough or sneeze) and infecting them, and wearing a mask would do me a favour though as it would cover up and hide my ugly mug!  The 13 YR old and my hubby also like to smirk Silent NOW!  when they're being abusive or insulting to me and I just give up and ignore them, thinking that they're "won", gotten the "better" of me, or gotten the "Last Word" in, etc. but really  it's just that I'm sinply ignoring  them and have given up on them and their shit because it's just not WORTH the dignity of a reply. People also wonder why I'm always so negative and angry all the time too but I've always been rejected, criticized, bullied, and shit on my entire life , so there's THAT, so there you go....