Monday, May 11, 2020

My Sad Heart.


Here are my new rose gold headphones, my Mother's Day gift from my hubby, but I was heavy-hearted yesterday(and still today) as of my 11 kids( not incl. the 2 that we lost years ago) only two of them even bothered to wish me a Happy Mother's Day; the oldest e-mailed me ( and he said he's so bored at home isolated with quarantine and not working that all he does is stay home all day and smoke weed.....so what's the problem? That sounds pretty good  to me!!) and the 20 YR old who phoned me from Ottawa, and that was it. Even the 3 that still live  here never said anything, so what about the others?  No one gives a shit., and it hurts to know that my kids are such uncaring assholes. Even 2 out of my Top 3 Faves. never bothered, even though on Father's Day they act like it's a national holiday or something and treat my hubby like he's a king and on my mother's birthday all the kids phone her with well-wishes. They don't think that I notice, or maybe that's the point?

Yesterday I also found the remnants of a nest at the bottom of the neighbour's tree next door along with a squirrel's tail.
Just the tail.



This is also my delish Mother's Day food I ordered: chicken Penne al forno.  Of course now with all the cream between that and the 17 YR old's birthday cake my cramps, nausea and diarrhrea is in overload, even taking the enzyme pills but I guess it was just too much even for that to handle. ugh! I also think I might have stopped breathing during the night(sleep apnea perhaps or maybe something else?) as I woke up struggling to breathe and with a cough unlike any I've ever had before; it was so forceful and strong, so much so it actually hurt and my chest felt squished, like it was up to the cough to stimulate my respiratory muscles to get my breathing kick-started again and I have to admit that it was quite scary. My mother also did end up going back to the ER later yesterday (she chose to spend her Mother's Day at the hospital) and it's good she went like I said she should as now they think it's cellulitis: a bacterial infection of her skin caused by either the Staph or Strep bacteria and if left untreated will spread into deeper layers of the skin and can even lead to flesh-eating disease which can be fatal, so now she has to go for IV antibioitcs every day  for the next 3-5 days! Holy shit! I just knew  they missed something the first time she went! Always trust your instincts!!


Yesterday morning as I checked in on my computer I was also shocked and saddened to hear one of my Facebook friends also suddenly died.His daughter posted the sad news. His name was Van. This is my tribute to him.Friends are still friends and he's the 6th one to die in the past 10 years, most of them from cancer. They're not sure how he died but his last post was the end of March saying about his daily  blinding headaches he thought were migraines, where he was dizzy and sick and pain so bad he passed out so maybe that has something to do with it, like building up to an aneurysm or stroke or maybe he had a brain tumour or something? He was a paratrooper and sniper and had 9 kids and was from Texas. He was also a free spirit, an old soul, and a great cook and always had mouth-watering photos of his food posted and he was a talented and gifted writer and poet. He was just my age,too, 52 or 53. He also wrote this poem just a few months ago as well I will share here. I will miss you, my friend and I am praying for you.


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