The Grand Duchess.

I've always had a vivid and lively imagination, esp. as a kid but still even now as an adult.People always assumed I would grow up to be a writer, always so imaginative, descriptive, creative. When I was a kid, however, I used to always pretend that I was a Grand Duchess , elegant, royal, beautiful and lovely and I would hold court and walk down a carpeted aisle with everyone ooh-ing and ahh-ing at me in wonder, saying how beautiful I was, admiring me, wanting to get close to me, touch me, be near me, to be me, and I would walk down the carpet smiling and waving to my adoring public and they would be cheering and welcoming,  the exact opposite of what I faced in my real actual life of bullying, being left out, ostracized, not fitting in or belonging, being excluded, mocked, ridiculed, being ugly and outcast, and I would dress up all fancy in my mother's long dresses and my Babushka's furs and jewellery and prance around in front of the mirror and act all ritzy and sophistocated like the Grand Duchess I imagined myself to be, and I would have samovar parties with my stuffed toys, all arranged sitting around in a circle, having a royal banquet, and we would discuss high-brow events like the weather and I would fantasize of my marriage to prince so-and-so. it was all very magical, fairy-tale and romantic.

But then the Grand Duchess grew up, got uglier as she got older, and her kingdom vanished, her "Prince" turned into a frog and Happily Ever After  was never to be found and her dreams died along with her.

The other day my mother also ordered (didn't ask or request nicely) the 25 YR old to clear all the weeds and crap from the "jungle" at the back so the guy can come and clean and check the furnace and A/C for it's annual inspection/cleaning and he balked of course, telling her that maybe if she'd asked nicely instead of ordering him like a servant he might have but refuses, and then she got really furious claiming she did  'ask" him first( she didn't; it was an order all along right from the beginning) but then had "no choice" but to order him after that as there was "no other way to get him to do it" yet he still wouldn't and I tried to explain to her that's not how to get someone to do something and that she had to ask him nicely and that he's a grown 25 YR old MAN and that he doesn't have to do anything she tells him to and she has no authority over him at all and then she goes on how he never does anything around here and never helps out.... but she still never 'got" it that he doesn't "owe" her anything and she has no authority over him and he's not obligated to do anything for her, and esp. even more so when she asks like that. She's always been like that though and even on trips she embarrasses me too the way she orders cruise, hotel or airline staff around to serve and cater to her, for example, and some of them even stand up to her telling her, I am not your servant, Madam" and the shocked LOOK on her FACE is just priceless  and leaves her open-mouthed and speechless  and me laughing my ass off because she soooo deserves it! HA! I just love seeing Karma live in action! Holy shit is it ever wonderful!! Today child # 8 also turns 21 (Happy Birthday!) and I lost my virginity when I was 21 ( just 2 weeks before I turned 22) and exactly 10 months to the day later my first child was born!