No Respect.

It's no secret that my family treats me like shit, that they always put me down, belittle, demean, insult, mock, ridicule, devalue, disrespect me etc. and yesterday alone is the perfect example: here goes:  my hubby and the 13 and 17 YR old are always putting me down for my medical marijuana use and call me degrading names such as drug addict and druggie, Pothead etc. even though I do have a medical prescription for it they still say that's just an excuse etc. and look down on me and always make snide remarks about it even though it's eliminated my excruciating daily migraines and takes away other acute pain no other medication can but they use it at every opportunity to put me down and treat me like I'm some crack whore junkie on Skid Row and they were really going at it yesterday and as well (so I just tune them out and ignore them like I always do, just not bothering to acknowledge them or just put my headphones on and blast up the music so loud I can't even hear them, just drown them out or other times I just get up and leave the room; I'm not putting up with their shit).

Yesterday I was also saying how I have no voice, no say, andhow my opinions and thoughts, needs, etc. don't matter and I don't count or have any vote and always get vetoed and my mother snarked Oh, you always  have something to say! We hear your voice all the time! etc. implying that I'm always talking and never shut up......but they never hear me. They don't listen. They don't care, and I'm like the Silent Partner as I have no vote or say or control or authority in my own life, my own home, or in my own family, except I'm not even a "partner"; I'm in no way "equal"; I feel more like a hostage they keep locked away in a cage that gets fed and that's about it but always gets taunted, poked at,mistreated, etc. but isn't actually a welcome and loved member or part of the household; I feel less than a pet as pets for the most part are generally well cared for and loved, not abused, although I have my suspicions that it was the 13 YR old that likely kicked Buddy injuring him as now there's a big purple bruise on his sore spot and I have seen him kick him before(and he is mean like that) which breaks my heart and angers me so I have to make sure he's never left alone with him and he's still eating and going for his walks but when I touch his side it still hurts,poor guy. 

Here I am outside cuddling with the one that loves me most, the only one that loves me, and yesterday as well I was listening to a Tom Petty song and the 13 YR old purposely and rudely interrupts the song( and he knows it was one of my faves) to ask Google Home the weather ( even though he just did seconds before the song just came on so I knew he was just doing it to be a pain in the ass and annoy me) and I told him to stop but he kept doing it over and over even after I told Google to resume and of course I ended up losing most of the song and he was just deliberately being defiant and my hubby was there in the room with us the entire time and so I told him to do something and get him to smarten up but of course he never backed me up(like he never does) and let him get away with it( like he always does) and snarled at me I "deserved" it because I always turn sports off on him even though I don't and I just put my headphones on to block it out when it's on the news so I don't have to hear it.....see what I'm always up against? and then he rips into me as well saying that my constantly "nagging" the kids by always having to keep reminding them ( Cut the grass! Put the garbage out! Do your math! etc) is annoying(even though I'm also just doing my job!) and they hate it and it makes things worse, doesn't work, etc. and I have to try a new stragedyetc. but if they did what they were told the FIRST TIME I wouldn't have to keep repeating myself, would I? Plus, it's also a trait of Asperger's I can't help, so there's also that. In any case, they're always disrespecting me and treating me like I don't matter, like I'm nothing and it makes me feel worthless, like they have zero respect for me as a human being and lack even basic human kindness , consideration , decency, respect, and kindness and it just breaks my heart, and perfect strangers treat me better than my own family does and see more value and worth in me than they do.They also value my input, thoughts, feelings, and opinions more,too. In my house and with my family they make me feel like I'm nothing.