Prozac.

I do my pills in a container that has a separate compartment  for each day and it lasts for a week so I only have to sort them all out once a week instead of daily like I used to. It just saves time and hassle but my brain is addled ( from my diagnosis of White Matter Decline I got from my MRI although my hubby still likes to blame on Stoner Brain and says it's from smoking so much weed even though it started even before I even started my medical marijuana 6 YRS ago) and I often get confused and forgetful and mix them up, like the time my BP pills got hidden and I hadn't been taking them for something like 3 months, or other various times I forget, skip, or even double pills, and I noticed the other day as well there was only one Prozac pill in there when there's supposed  to be 2 for each day as I'm supposed to have 40mg a day up from 20 mg. Ooops! I checked for the rest of the week and it was the same and not just an oversight the once for the one day but repeated every day for the entire week so I had to add an extra pill in for each day but I went something like 3 days with one less pill before I even noticed it. I do dumb shit like that all the time. My brain is shit and I get so mixed-up, and I often walk into a room and forget what I just went in for, put food on/in the oven and forget about it, forget where I left something, have no short-term memory at all; it's getting really bad. It's like I have Alzheimers or something. It probably also doesn't help that I often hit my head on things too, like yesterday I whacked it hard on the shade roof outside as with no sense of perception I always think I have more space around me than I actually do and things are closer than I think they are and I'm always hitting my head on things and bumping into stuff.

My abdonemal and lower back  and flank pain on the right side( right kidney area) is also soooo bad lately( it's been extra bad daily for the past 2 weeks now) as well as stomach pain now too it often wakes me up during the night and hurts so much it makes me feel like I'm going to throw up, and I can't help but wonder if it's my right kidney or appendix the most likely suspect based on the location, although it may also be my liver as I have pain below my right ribs, and I have headaches alot lately as well although not migraines like I used to have; they feel different, and I also feel really dehydrAted and thirsty so I suspect most likely kidney issues, and I got a flashback memory the other day too of my childhood I had forgotten about of my mother when I was growing up always telling me I had to have bangs with my hairstyle because I have a 'high' forehead and had to keep it hidden, inferring that it was something ugly and unattractive that needed to be hidden, making me feel ugly and unattractive right from an early age, that I wasn't 'good enough" or pretty and it also hurts to realize that even as a child no one ever said What a pretty girl! What a beautiful child! because I wasn't. I never was. I was always  the Ugly Duckling although in my case I never did grow up to be the Beautiful Swan like I was hoping; I just stayed ugly.

While my hubby was out yesterday I also had him pick me up some baby oil as I was running out and I need it to make my suntan oil I add iodine to but he got the wrong one; he got one with aloe and vitamin E added instead of the usual original formula so, of course, it may alter the chemical reaction with the extra added ingredients and not work so I can't use it(I can still use it as an after-bath moisturizer, just not as a suntan oil) so I told him he had to still get the right one and he refused( even though he was the one that screwed-up) and tried to excuse that it was the right one(rather than to admit he made a mistake because he thinks he's perfect) saying they just changed the label; now it's green instead of pink and that's how they make it now(adding aloe) etc....HA! Nice try,asshole, but I know it's the wrong one! He's the one that gets the wrong thing yet he gets mad at me  for getting mad he didn't get me the right thing? Somehow that's my fault and now he refuses to get the right one? What a jerk-off!

I also finally solved the mystery of our invasion of the swarm of flies: the kids left garbage bags in the house full of rotting garbage instead of putting them outside for some reason and they have been festering in here and this morning I saw a bunch of maggots oozing(yes, literally oozing would be the best term to describe it) out of one of the bags squirming and wriggling on the carpet (ewww!!!) so that's it! Maggots are fly larvae and when they mature they turn into flies, and so that's where all the hundreds of flies suddenly came from; from all the hatched maggots! The kids are such pigs! I also saw someone post about Canada Day tomorrow how it's the "best" country in the world and their favourite country, etc.(ugh! Gag me) and I added, Not for me; Jamaica is my spiritual home! it also seems hypocritical and ironic to me too how people say it's oppressive that in Saudi women are forced to wear hijab and how it's mandatory.....yet there are now some places here where wearing masks is mandatory too due to the "pandemic" so what's the difference? mandatory is mandatory; oppression is oppression, taking away freedom is still taking away freedom. I have never worn a mask and I never will. it's just stupid and I refuse to be a Sheeple and mindlessly and blindly follow the herd and give in to media-fueled paranoia and fear. I will NOT be mandated and I will not conform. I am a free-spirit and free spirits have to soar, not be constrained.