Grosser Than Gross.

OK, how's this for grosser than gross? Hundreds of squirming wriggling maggots all over our garbage and garbage cans! This is what we saw when we took the lid off the garbage can, festering and reeking in the hot summer heat,and not only that(as if that wasn't revolting enough) but also oozing maggot juice all down the sides of the can,too! Ewww! As you can imaginie the stench was just unimaginable and they look like little grains of rice or cut-up pieces of spaghetti (I don't think I'll ever see Chicken Fried Rice the same way ever again) and it horrified my mother so much she was even embarrassed to put it out for the garbage man to pick up( even though I'm sure they're used to it and see it all the time and they do wear gloves and probably don't even notice opening up the can and just tossing the bags into the backof the truck likely not even looking) so she decided that she had to haul it out of the can and hose all the maggots off and -yup-clean off the garbage before throwing it out in the driveway ( she always does this; purposely makes more work for herself and then complains she has so much work) even though garbage is the 13 YR old's job but there's no way she wants her precious little Prince to have to do any work so she takes it upon herself to do yet despite myself, my hubby and the 25 YR old telling her to not do it she still went ahead and did it anyway.....until she got soaked by the power washer hose and sprayed with maggots and then the 13 YR old ended up eventually doing it anyway even though everyone thought the whole thing was unnecessary but you know her; she gets an idea in her head and just won't let go and give it up and then she thinks she's a "martyr", picking up the slack.

My mother also was saying how so many of my old friends I grew up with and went to school with are grandparents now and I was saying I'm not eager to be a grandmother; that I had enough of kids' shit with my own  kids and I don't need it again with someone else's esp. now I'm older and have even less patience than I had before and then she smirked ...and you didn't have much before!  as always getting a little "dig" into me and I replied I just don't want to risk becoming an over-bearing grandmother like her, over-stepping boundaries with my grandchildren like she does with hers, and ruining the relationship with my own kids in the process as a result and then she huffed, You don't want to have anything to do  with your  grandchildren! and it's not that I don't want anything to do with them; I just don't want to be overly involved and end up like her and I'm not excited or eager for grandchildren like most people are, and,in fact, I'm OK if my kids never have kids. The 25 YR old also calculated it's been sooo hot lately that if we did have the pool open it would cost 40$ a day in "shock" (liquid chlorine) as it would keep "burning off" in the sun but it's also so hot that every  day would be a swim day for the past 3 weeks or so too and this is the worst summer to have the pool closed!

I had an "epiphany" of a sort too that maybe the reason I'm ugly and look like a dude is sort of a defence or protection: if I was pretty I would always be a target for guys "hitting" on me, bothering me, harrassing me, etc. and this way at least I don't ever have to worry about being raped, sexually assaulted, harrassed, etc, in fact I've never even been cat-called or even flirted with and perhaps it's to keep me humbled too as alot of attractive people also usually aren't very nice people,either; they often tend to be mean, arrogant, vain,proud, bullies, etc. and during a bad storm the other day part of a big limb on the neighbour's tree fell on their roof and now there's a big dent on the roof and they had to have half the tree cut down and the guy next-door had his menacing huge Mastiff running loose again and it came right up to our driveway again while Buddy and I were sitting out on the front veranda and it scares me it'll attack him and unless I'm hallucinating again I think he's trying to kill me too as I'm pretty sure when I was out in the backyard the other day I heard him say to his friend( about Buddy and I) Should we attack them? and last night as I was out there smoking weed he was yelling at me something about my f*cking Dachshund and Don't even look  at me, you f*cking kook! and I 'm pretty sure he's some sort of "tweaker" or something and likely a drug dealer too so with any luck he hopefully won't be living there long and the cops will come by and haul him off to jail for something soon.....

The other day I was also trying to explain to my hubby some computer issue and of course I have no idea and he's an expert in the field(and that's his job) and he was saying, No, that's software; what you're talking about is hardware... and so I ended it with something like this : I don't know, it's some computer thing, some tech thing; it's all the same to me; it's all too complicated for me... and he said it sounded racist and said it sounded like saying You People  and You all look the same to me ; just substitute " tech stuff" with the word "Black"..... except it's NOT, and I'm the least racist person there is; my BFF is Korean and my mother said my birthday parties as a kid Looked like the United Nations and 90% of my friends in highschool were Asian, and I'm actually Jamaican  on the inside, so there's that....it's just that it's all too complex for me and all that tech/computer/nerd stuff is way above my head.

Less than 2 months until schools go back as well and the gov't still isn't sure how they will resume post-"pandemic" either and say either back to usual with social distancing, remote learning, or a combination and with smaller class sizes( 15 per class instead of the usual 40 or so) and off days or off weeks and I'm just soooo glad we homeschool and don't have to ever worry about any of this shit, and I had that recurring dream again about Buddy last night where I can't find him and he's at this middle-aged woman's house with the puppies and she won't give him back or open the door and I won't leave without him, as He's my  dog and he belongs with me; he's part of my family and I'm not leaving without him! and I break down the door and just go in and get him and until now I never knew who she was and now I just realized it: it was Patti!