Jamaica Day.

Today is Canada Day but for me Jamaica is my spiritual home and the place I felt was Home and where I fit in, felt at home, felt most welcome, belonged, and was my niche. Canada has done nothing for me but f*ck me over, steal my $$$$(the worst being that time I got audited and they took 40K from me), rip me off, oppress me with all it's over-bearing rules and regulations tighly banning, regulating and controlling everything it's suffocating and it's only getting worse, not to mention it's rigid Politically Correct climate, make living unaffordable, cheat me, over-charge for everything, give half-assed quality and service, etc. and done nothing for me so I have nothing to celebrate today and want no part of it so for me today is Jamaica Day instead as that's the country I hold the most fondness and allegience to and feel most connected and loyal to. I am a Jamaican at heart. Usually it's this huge over-the-top celebration too but with the "pandemic" it's all been cancelled this YR( ha,ha) along with everything else for the entire summer so all the outdoor public mass festivities and fireworks have all been cancelled this YR and everything has moved online but I don't care either way because I don't bother or celebrate anyway. We're having a BBQ today but not so much for that but just because it's a holiday for everyone and my hubby has the day off.

The other day the 25 YR old surprised me too by bringing me home 2 mangoes as a gift! For no reason,either; I didn't ask he pick them up or anything; he just did, just to be nice, because he knows how much I like them. Wasn't that nice? He's the only one out of all of them that cares about me at all. My hubby also not only got me the wrong baby oil the other day too but he also picked up my mother the wrong powder,too, and she's upset because she specifically likes the scent of her regular one which is why she asked for it in the first place and he should know that you don't ever mess with beauty products or food! You have to get the exact specific right one, no substitutions! I mean, how hard is it really? You see what's written down on the list and you match up to make sure it says the same thing, the exact same thing on the label of the product; not something similar or close enough, but the same thing to make sure it's the right one, or if in doubt, take a damn photo and check, just to be sure, or bring an old bottle of the used up product with you to compare just to be sure! it's not rocket science and he's always going on how smart he is and lording it over me how he's so much smarter he is than I am(and I'm the dumb one) and how things always work out for him, yet I'm not the one who gets the wrong stuff......just sayin'.....it's not that hard.

I was also listening to one of my fave songs yesterday on the Google Home device and I told the 13 YR old so and told him not to sabotage it like he always does, I gave him a warning and the little jerk still did; he purposely interrupted my song right then(instead of waiting until the song was over like I asked him to) what the weather was and so again I warned him to leave it or if he did it again I would do the same to him and turn off his video game he was playing on the TV screen so he'd know how it felt like when he does it to me turning off my music and the little jerk still did it again,just to be defiant, so I did. I turned the TV off, shutting down his game and he RAGED and RAGED, jumping up and down, yelling, screaming, swearing, throwing things, having a major shit-fit and I just calmly walked away. I've had enough of their shit and I'm not putting up with it. It's also been in the 30 C degree range all week and supposed to be the same all next week and of course we don't have the pool open for me to cool off so now when I'm out in the sun I literally have to spray myself with the hose every 5 minutes or so to cool off so I don't get sunstroke. I feel like a ghetto kid playing under a fire hydrant gushing out water onto the street. I also feel ghetto shaving my head too as half the "prongs" or whatever they're called on the comb/clip part of the shaver have all broken off now so I can only use half the shaver/razor to do my Buzz-cut or else it ends up completely totally bald.

I also saw something truly revolting yesterday: in Buddy's shit as I picked it up and tossed it into the little baggie I saw what I thought at first were grains of white rice. and thought to myself, That's strange; when did he ever have any rice?.......and then realized it wasn't rice afterall......but they were maggots!!! I realized he must have- ugh!- licked the maggots off the carpet! Ewwww! Well, no wonder he felt sick for those 3 days and wasn't eating if he ate maggots! That's just so gross but I still think that time he ate that baby rat raw was worse as he has the grossest-smelling diarrhrea after that I have EVER come across in my enire LIFE and that's after having 11 kids and something like 13 dogs in my lifetime. My hubby's also critical as well I don't persevere and I give up too easily on things  if they don't work out the first time too but that's not true; NOTHING ever works out the first time for me,ever; not even the second, third, fourth, or even fifth time; it takes at least six times/tries for things to work for me that for most people work the first or second try because I'm like a jinx or something and have bad luck and things just don't go right or work out for me and I know it and I'm used to it and I always fail and everything but I do try; it just doesn't work; there's a difference, and I DO endure; look at all the trauma I've endured in my life, all the hardships, adversity, trials,misfortune, bad luck, etc. and I'm still here. I have endured alot more than most people ever will so don't tell me that I don't persevere. Everything is just harder for me and much more of a struggle and never comes easy or goes right and I at least know when it does finally come to a point where it gets pointless and I know when it's time to give up and not keep up on a hopeless, thankless, impossible task that will never succeed or go anywhere and lead to nothing but frustration and failure.An example would be no matter how hard I tried I could never do math. I did try,too, I worked my ass off, I studied, I spent more time struggling with the math in school  than all the other subjects(I had no trouble with) combined and I still  failed miserably and only got something pathetic like a 32% grade(all the other subjects were A and B) and had to repeat BOTH grade 9 and 10 math twice. There are just some things no matter how  hard you try you just can't do and you have to know when you reach the limit and have to stop because it's just pointless and you'll never get there no matter how hard you try(like trying to get a fish to fly) and you just end up frustrated.