Lumps And Bumps.

For the past few days I noticed Buddy  has this bump on the top of his nose( visible in the photo here) and it hurts too because when I touch it he winches and turns away. It's quite noticable too and makes it look like he has a wonky crooked nose and before it was smooth and straight. I'm hoping he just got stung by a bee or something and it's quite possible since he is always snuffling around in the grass sniffing everything and poking his nose into everything as well as snapping at every insect that flies near him bugging him but he had it last week and it's still here and unless it's my imagination it seems to be getting bigger and growing, not getting smaller and going away and that has me worried as long-nosed breeds like Dachshunds tend to be susceptible to cancerous nose tumours and he is 14 afterall and I worry about him like I do about the kids and couldn't bear to lose him; he's the only love, joy,and light in my life as well as my soul-mate and reason for living. Today when I was up having my bath I could hear his nails going clip, clip, clip running along the hardwood floor in the hallway outside the bathroom door as he was waiting for me too( he always follows me everywhere) and I got sad thinking how much I'd really miss that if he was gone and it just broke my heart. He completes me and makes me whole and filled an empty void I had in my life and is an answer to my prayer; I prayed to God to send someone to love me and He sent me Buddy. He is my whole world.

Our washing machine also died but I checked my old blog when we got it and was surprised in December it willbe 10 years so we can't really complain; that's good for an appliance since you're lucky nowadays if they last 5 years. it's a Whirlpool and we finally got a repairman and he said the call alone will be 200$ before he even does anything and that doesn't even incl. labour, parts, repair, etc. and so given the cost and the age we decided it's best to just replace it and get a new one so my hubby went to a town 1 HR away and got one at a place one of his brothers works at so he got us 35% off and free delivery but it won't be delivered until next week so what are we supposed to do about clean laundry until then, esp. underwear and towels? We do 1-2 loads a day and for the past few days we've had to re-use towels twice( eww!) when normally we wash them after each use and just toss them in the dryer with a fabric sheet to "freshen" them up a bit and -ugh- hand-wash underwear and the 25 YR old's shirts for work like pioneers or Amish and toss in the dryer and my hubby said we'll have to go to a laundromat and do our laundry there but do those things even exist anymore, and if they do I'd suppose they'd be in the ghetto and there's no way I'm going to the ghetto; I'd rather go to the creek and wash my clothes by a rock than go to the ghetto. it cost 900$ too which is steep but at least we've saved 500$ by not opening up the pool this year and probably can scrounge up some $$$ by all the kids' activities that have been cancelled over the past few months but just charge it in the meantime. I miss it when we used to have $$$ when we could just go into the store and buy whatever; the top-of-the-line product and not even have to look at the price because it didn't matter because we could afford it. My mother's only requirement is that it matched the metallic silver of all the other appliances and I just want it to be simple to use ( since I'm the one that does the laundry) and NOT one of those Smart appliances( like our TV that even after all these years I still can't figure out how to use) that's smarter than I am and I can never understand; I don't need all these fancy gadgets, bells and whistles; just a simple machine I can operate easily! My kids say I'm a Boomer.

Yesterday I also noticed this little freckle(or whatever it is) on the top of my left big toe in the middle( look closely, can you see it? it's hard to see in the photo though) that wasn't there before (see Buddy also photo-bombing me?) and it made me think of Bob Marley and his melanoma; how he first thought the spot under the nail on his big toe was an injury from playing soccer but it ended up being cancer, and all day yesterday and still today the pain under my right rib is unrelenting, non-stop, whereas before it came and went, now it's there all the time, 24/7 and the back, abdomenal and right flank pain is still reaaaly bad now for the second(or third, I've lost track now) week it just seems endless but there's no point anymore as the doctor always just says it's nothing and at the ER they never do anything and just think you're some sort of addict coming to get drugs so I just suffer silently and hope it goes away on it's own or it kills me,whatever comes first but under the rib pain is really bad and esp. now it's constant and I get no relief at all. I wonder if it is kidney stones or something although it could also be something more sinister, like lung cancer or a pulmonary embolism?? It's also going to 34 C today with humidex of 40 C(it's been sooo hot lately everyone's grass has turned all brown) it reminds me of when I was in Egypt it was 42 C and that was just the temp, not the humidity factored in and it felt like my face was melting off, and so humid I can't be outside for more than 3 hours or so now as I can't breathe the air is so heavy it aggravates my breathing issues and it feels like something heavy weighing on my chest and it feels like I'm breathing thru a straw and due to it I can't smoke weed(dried flower) in this humidity either as it makes me choke and cough and I can't breathe and my lungs are starving for oxygen and I have to either vape or use the cannabis oil but the rib pain is sooooo bad that even the weed doesn't relieve this pain( and that's my go-to med that relieves tough pain when nothing else does!) it merely takes the "edge" off.

I also heard back from the 21 YR old and she said she really did break up with her BF as they have different life goals but they're still really good friends which is nice but I'm surprised(and a bit sad too as they've been together 4 years) but at least now she'll finally be able to come home and have Christmas with us once again  and not abandon her family for her BF and his family anymore like she has for past few years. It kind of freaks me out too to realize that in all likelihood that only 3 of the kids probabably haven't had sex yet, and the other day I was trying to explain foreplay to the 17 YR old....well, you have to get all moistened up first; you can't just shove it into a dry hole.... and she was grossing-out but it's hard trying to discuss sex with your kids and I'm not exactly known for being "subtle" (HA!) and it hurts me too knowing that all those years they were teens and growing up I innocently thought they were good obedient kids and then years later to only discover that some of them had secretly been sneaking behind my back the entire time, dating or smoking weed, etc. and it made me feel so betrayed, so defied, so disillusioned, so hurt, and it just goes to show that things( and people!) and circumstances are often NOT as they seem or what they appear.