My Biggest Secret.

Want to know one of my biggest secrets?(and I am a girl of many secrets) One that no one knows about, not even my family( and they still won't know either since they don't even know about this blog and won't be reading it)?

I've tried cocaine.

No one knows about it because it's so out-of-character for me and I can't even believe it myself  and I'm not going to get into the details here of the where, how,and when, but back in the 1980's during my teen and early adult years cocaine was all the rage and I always had this curiousity about it and among the wealthy and elite crowd it was rampant, and passed around in social circles like candy, and in fact, was even referred to as Nose Candy ( or Booger Sugar, White Lady, etc.) and it was one of those things that had always been on my Bucket List to try once and I came across an opportunity to try it and I'll try anything once and my curiousity got the better of me and so I snorted a line up each nostril......and......

I didn't like it.

It didn't do anything for me other than burn my nose and all down the back of my throat and leave a strong, horrible bitter after-taste all in my mouth and back of my throat( as ENT is all connected back there) lingering for hours and made me sneeze like crazy and gave me red eyes but it oddly didn't change my mental status, or alter my consciousness, make me "high" or anything; it just kept me awake all night but I never got "buzzed" or high or anything; I never noticed a thing or any difference but I do seem to have a high tolerance for drugs though and I rarely get high even with my medical marijuana; maybe 1 time out of 10 do I get high; I think it's due to either my Asperger's or bipolar; that I must have low levels of seratonin and/or dopamine and my brain is "wired" differently and just doesn't respond or react to drugs like most people's do and it just doesn't affect me the same. Something good though; I normally have a constantly blocked stuffy nose due to bad allergies, narrow nasal passages and other deviations but after the coke it cleared my nose right out and it was clear for 2 days! It's not something I'd ever try again though as it was disappointing and I didn't see what the big deal was and why people like it so much( the same for alcohol) but at least I tried it. Maybe they can re-brand and re-market coke for nasal blockage? HA!

I also got banned on a Facebook  group again, this time for violating their rules against political posts for posting this(shown above) as they thought it alluded to the protests in Portland( which I totally support  BTW and think it's ironic and hypocritical Trump criticized China's handling of similar protests in Hong Kong and now he's  using the same jack-booted heavy-handed tactics himself!) when *I* just meant it to be about my own kids being unruly but they took it the wrong way and attacked me and now I feel really bad. This happens alot; people take things the wrong way; not the way I intended it at all (it's an Asperger's thing) and turn on me and hate on me and then it feels like the bullying in school all over again and most times I have no idea why.  I also needed my hubby to help get the wifi back on my iPod  yesterday so I could go outside and hear my show on the radio  but he was too busy watching TV and couldn't even take the time to pause it for a few seconds(literally; that's all it would take for him) and when I gave it to him he angrily threw it across the room, screaming at me so then I turned off the TV on him giving it right back to him and told him, it works BOTH ways! You're not the only one that can be an asshole! I  can be an asshole too! He also took my advice( for once!) and got the spray thingy for the paint to paint the veranda railing faster( and now did 25 of them in one day as opposed to 7 in a day like before by hand) and it worked,too, other than the fact that now his formerly- black shoes are now white! HA! I'm glad I told him to move the car out of the driveway though otherwise we'd also have a white car,too!

The 17 YR old is also always so mean to my poor Buddy too and always calls him ugly and showed people at work his photo and now has got all of them saying he's "ugly" too even though he's not; he's just old; old and grey and raggedy, like one of those old, raggedy stuffed toys with the missing eyes, bare spots, flat parts, squished, etc. well-loved and well-aged, etc. but that you love and are beautiful and cherished(and there's nothing I love more than snuggling and cuddling up with him and inhaling his sweet scent and burrowing my face into his soft warm fur) and one day she too will also be old and grey and raggedy,too!  My abdomen and back pain are also sooo bad yesterday and today too that yesterday I  felt like I was going to puke from the pain and I just curled up on the couch with my knees to my chest trying to relieve the pain and the weed just took the "edge" off so you know the pain is really bad and I tried to sleep and drifted off into what I'm pretty sure is unconsciousness and would wake up every now and then disoriented(I also had a 4-5 HR nap) and the day before I had a headache soooo bad it was off the charts and I thought my head was going to explode. It's also been soo hot lately most of July has been in the 30 C + range feeling like in the 40 C + but it's not "Global Warming" as the Enviro-freaks like to claim though as I can remember back in the 80's in both Toronto and Ottawa having long hot summers like this too so it must just be the cycles of the Earth go thru?

I saw as well a gross advice from the BC Board of health about "safe" sex during the so-called "pandemic" and they said wear masks and no face-to-face and they suggest to basically f*ck like animals, the most unromantic, unaffectionate, unintimate, unloving ways ever; just merely lustful and functional, just pure raw sex instead of actually making love; they said to do it Doggy-style  and using Glory-holes! Ick! Can you imagine? That's just gross and the most un-romantic thing I can think of! I also heard on the news near Toronto the cops raided this party that had 200 people(and fined them over 800$ for breaking violating the gathering of over 10 people) and I don't even know 200 people! Everybody and his brother must have been there and that must have been some epic party, but at least they'll have a good story to tell their kids and grandkids later, like the party we had back in the late 80's to bid our troublesome loser neighbours a "fond" farewell.....HA, I still smile when I think about it and every time I hear the Beastie Boys ' song Fight For Your Right To Party   I always think about it and smile. It was the stuff of legends.