My Giant.

It's a miracle! Of the 4 surviving sunflowers I planted only 2 are alive now and 3 of them out of the original 5 survivors before were puny shrimpy thin straggly little things with pathetic thin stems and small blooms that died and never did go to seed but I have one giant that oddly grew nice and big and dwarfed the others, seen here. For some odd and unknown reason it flourished alone while all the others wilted and stayed "runts" but this one( which oddly showed up on it's own;it wasn't one of the original seeds I'd planted but started growing 3 weeks after I transplanted my other seedlings so I guess you could say it's wild; wild, natural and free, so it's younger and behind the others in dates of development but it's so much bigger, taller, thicker, bigger leaves, stronger, the way a typical sunflower should be so if I'm lucky maybe at the end( if the critters and insects don't get to it first and a storm doesn't destroy it; it's now too tall for me to be able to cover up at night with the lid anymore) I'll finally end up with a big beautiful flower, the way it's supposed to be but of course with MY "luck" something will happen before it ever gets to that stage.... One sad lone sunflower after planting 14 seeds. Yesterday I also saw something that you don't see every day: a squirrel hanging on to a tree branch by it's 2 front legs and swinging back and forth like on a trapeez! It was so funny that I almost wet my pants laughing!

It's also finally NOT so humid and yesterday I was able to be outside once again for 5.2 hours, incl. 2.5 HRS in the sun after not being able to be in the sun for a week and not even being able to be outside at all for the past few days it was just too hot ( 34 C feeling like 40 C plus) and the air so thick and heavy I couldn't breathe, and I really missed it and felt like a hostage being kept inside and the days felt so long, and we have a new infestation of flies in the house now again too I have no idea where they keep coming  from but we put up more of those sticky fly-trap papers and my hubby somehow has synced-up his phone to the new washing machine too and said he can track how many loads of laundry we do, etc( why you'd have a need to do that or even want to I have no idea though) and he seemed almost giddy over it but for me all that high-tech stuff is all way too complicated for me but it's good to finally be able to wear clean underwear every day once again though and to have clean towels each use instead of having to re-use them; eeew!

I also have this prayer with God where I am weighing on a major life change and decision that's been weighing on me for months now and I asked if the answer is yes to confirm and verify that it's His plan for me that a butterfly will land on me and that's my confirmation and yesterday a moth landed on me so I'm not quite sure if that "counts" or not or what it means, and the 13 and 17 YR olds are always telling me to Stop singing! when I sing along to my music too and even though I can't  sing doesn't mean I won't  as I feel  the music in me and when I asked her Don't you sing along when you feel the Groove? she had no idea what I was even talking about (????? really???) and they're always telling me to turn my music down but good music should be played loud and then she asked me I bet you had a Boom-Box back in the day,too..... and I told her, Of course! It was the 80's! Everyone did, and I also had a Walkman,too! I was thinking the other day as well how even though my ex-friend Patti used me and ended up to be a racist and I no longer have anything to do with her anymore as a result( it's been 2 YRS now) I still don't regret meeting her as it's because of her that I got Buddy and he's the best thing to ever happen to me in my entire life, my greatest blessing and my best friend and if it weren't for meeting her I never would have had him so it was still worth it.

I also had this dream or "revelation" or whatever it was that this is how I meet my Eternal Companion : I go to a store to buy a dress for an upcoming formal dance and it ends up being a satin sapphire blue long ballgown-style and we meet at the dance and we end up being soul-mates, which is odd because I no longer even go to those things anymore and my social phobia has gotten worse over the years and I'm pretty much housebound nowadays. I was also thinking when I die I hope that there's at least somebody (other than my dog) that cares, that loves me and misses me and smiles and says That was my friend and feels some sort of loss and sadness and that my life made some kind of difference for somebody somewhere, that I did have some purpose and meaning in my life and that I made someone smile, laugh, feel better about themselves, have a good day, cheer up, that I defended someone, stood up for someone, brought someone to God, inspired someone, helped someone, increased someone's faith, gave someone hope,encouraged someone,  reassured someone, was a friend to someone, comforted someone, supported someone,did some good, etc. I know I didn't do anything big, major, life-altering or anything like that but I'd at least like to think that I made a little difference for someone sometime in my life; that I mattered to someone and that my life wasn't a complete waste.